This really should have been posted in /c/fakenews, or more clearly made out to be a gag post. Or maybe posted on /c/memes!

But it’s off the front page now, so there’s no sense in removing it because I’m a day late to the party. Please try to remember that many ND comrades have a very hard time reading tone in text (and in real life, hoo boy, do I have some stories).

Thanks, comrade.