• JayDee@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    2 days ago

    The new hot cure to hantavirus: bloodletting! Balance your humors and align your chakras with this one simple trick!

    • MintyFresh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      I’ll sell you leeches from an ancient bloodline! This storied lineage of leeches have drained foul and dangerous humors from some of histories great men!

      From Caligula to Kissinger these leeches have left a wake of well balanced, totally sane statesmen. For only three easy payments of 20.99 you too can be drained and join in greatness!

      But wait!!! Order now and receive a camo snuggy and a box of tissues, COMPLETELY FREE

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 days ago

        Instructions unclear, one of the leeches drank too much of my blood and started a rampage around the neighborhood. Also, I’m feeling real heavy, just gonna nap for the rest of my life i guess