My wife has Schrödinger’s ears.

We are in the same room:

me: “hey hon” … “honeyyy” … “sweetie the house is on fire” … “the dog invented a time machine” …

But when she is on the other side of the house:

me to kid: “here’s your cereal, buddy” wife: “WHAAAAAT?”

I get to have some fun with it, at least.