This is more like what my kid does than what my spouse and I do.

The kid will yell for their mom or me across the house and I’ll yell back “come here if you need something, don’t just yell!” Then they’ll pause and yell “WHAT?!”

Or, even better, a few days ago my wife was laying in the living room while I was in my recliner. The kid yelled “MOM!” from the kitchen. I said “if you need mom come talk to her in here, don’t just yell across the house.” After a long period of silence, the kid ran into the living room, PAST THEIR CLEARLY VISIBLE MOTHER, and said “I don’t know where she is.”

My wife has Schrödinger’s ears.

We are in the same room:

me: “hey hon” … “honeyyy” … “sweetie the house is on fire” … “the dog invented a time machine” …

But when she is on the other side of the house:

me to kid: “here’s your cereal, buddy” wife: “WHAAAAAT?”

I get to have some fun with it, at least.

Wait, you’re supposed to get married before you do this?

You started the conversation, you walk 25 feet.

Oh I can’t fucking stand this. When i hear “hey” screamed from across the house I get irate. Get your lazy ass up and walk over.

After the first “what?” following the initial wave of muffled gibberish, if whatever comes next isn’t louder, I just assume she’s talking to herself.

That assumption is never correct, but running in “what??” circles is fucking maddening. She knows the drill.

My wife and I immediately switch to the “yelling penis louder game” when it’s obvious we can’t hear what the other person is saying.

Text, you are both on your phones already

What?

You don’t even have to be married for that

I just yell “I cant hear you”

I don’t tell “what?” I yell that I can’t hear them. My voice carries, her doesn’t.

My wife often forgets I have a hard time hearing her when she’s sitting next to me, so there’s no way I can hear her from the other end of the house with a running dehumidifier in-between.

Judging by thier voice I’m either walking or running over.

Or, as a bonus. Call them.