Came out to my mum, but will need to at some point come out to my dad.
Problem is, my dad, is straight up chronically online and is transphobic. Maybe not quite michael knowles transphobic but he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and is just a fetish.
I’m planning to come out to my brother (who definitely isnt transphobic) before hand, to get as much “backup” as possible. My mum is ok with it so i have backup there lol.
Im considering just not telling him until ive moved out, so that I dont have to put up with him but idk, thats probs far out (at least a year)
Help :(
Maybe try softening him up for a while beforehand with positive news stories about trans people, and if he reacts with hate try to force him to justify the hate with personal experience instead of what he’s been told to believe. If he can’t back his anger up, then what’s really going on?
If he’s a Faux News devotee, then you’re probably better off letting sleeping dogs lie.
Alternatively, I would not at all be surprised if he subconsciously suspects you are, and is afraid of what it might mean as far as how others will treat him if they find out. When you inform him, he’ll have a choice to make which will be very telling - either he actually loves you enough to overcome his bias in order to preserve a relationship with you, or he doesn’t care as much about you as he does himself - in which case there’s nothing there for you to fear losing anyway.
Good idea. I have been trying to guage what his views are but its difficult since I dont think even he knows what they are. He recites transphobic misinformation one second and the next says the right are too mean about lgbt. And then after that I suspect he watches videos calling trans folk ugly or delusional (based on the reccomendations on the youtube on the tv).
He wont stop loving me, but I fear he’ll just think me a freak :(. Which is unloving i suppose, but i would more see it as a twisted love.
I might mention more on trans issues to really see where he is
What you describe actually sounds kinda hopeful. He may not be sure what to believe, and is trying to find direction in people who seem like they know what they’re talking about because they act like they’re extremely sure of themselves. But it’s all just an extremely destructive con-man game attempting to justify the speaker’s own fears by getting others to join them in their thoughtless blind hatred.
I have no idea how correct this notion of mine is (and this is the first time I’m expressing it to someone other than my wife and adult son - yes, that makes me an older male so maybe there’s hope for yours, too), but I’ve explained the existence of trans people to myself by remembering back to high school biology teaching us that life is constantly mutating because genes often don’t get copied correctly. People evolved from such mutations, get their appearance, health issues, intelligence, etc. from such mutations. As such, it’s perfectly logical to me that such mutations happen wherein the brain winds up with a different gender than the body manifests. Again, I don’t know how true to life that thought process is, but hopefully it can help you explain to him just how trans people might come to be.
Anyway, I wish you luck! 🫂
ETA: I know that makes it easier to single out trans people for ostracization as “mutants,” but the fact is we’re ALL mutants or we’d still be amoeba swimming in the oceans.
Thank you for advice :)