Any time a group of people is open to anyone joining it’s going to get ruined by the awful people using it as an excuse to be awful. Doubly so when the original group of people is emotionally vulnerable and hurt.
Incel, Femcel, doesn’t matter. Makes no difference to awful people what they’re called if they can get in a group to collectively fantasize about being more awful than they could get way with in real life. I wish the actual people that are hurt can get the help they need to get better.
The real issue is that, most of the time, those who want to do harm are themselves emotionally vulnerable and hurt, which is why they gravitated to those in-groups in the first place. They turn their pain into justification which they feel entitles them to harm others as an act of retribution. “Eye for an eye” type shit.
Every incel/femcel began as a teenager that didn’t know better, who was probably just a little weird or was taught some bullshit by their parents, who got bullied for what they perceived as being nothing more than themselves, and they had no one to help them cope with it in a healthy way.
I wouldn’t say most of the time, but that is true to some extent. I think most of the time that the actual incels just want the emotional support that they desperately need, but when coming into contact with people online naively believe everyone that calls themselves an incel is like them. So its easy for them to be manipulated. That’s where I think much of the bad reputation online for “incel” comes from, from people that were manipulated by others looking for easy targets. Many of the people that might feequent “incel communities” genuinely need help and are unknowingly drinking from a contaminated well.
As to your second remark, not every person who has trouble with emotional connection started as a teenager that was bullied. Perhaps you are talking exclusively about the people that manipulate the vulnerable ones, in that case I can say it is probably mostly true, but there are certainly exceptions.
I like to think most of us (at least those of us on !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone) simply want to commiserate and get emotional support while we don’t have lovers.
I think most people that frequent those type of communities feel the same, and I hope you and all of the emotionally vulnerable, man or woman, are able to get real help that you need to feel better and more self-confident. Pain in the heart is not a fun thing to spend one’s time dealing with.
Serious question, has anyone ever tried making a community for both incels and femcels so they can learn about each other and find common ground? I think it could be beneficial to both.
The whole point of dating is to get someone who is socially desirable… not someone who isn’t. Incels dont’ want femcels and femcels don’t want incels… they want chad/stacy.
I’ll put on my incel cap and you give the Incel answer: femcels dont exist.
An Incel would say to a femcel “I’ll date you” and the femcels would say no therefore proving the Incels point thats its voluntary celibacy.
An Incel would say to a femcel “I’ll date you” and the femcels would say no therefore proving the Incels point thats its voluntary celibacy.
I won’t lie, they would kinda have a point with that.
I am not suggesting incels and femcels should date each other, that probably would be a bad idea, but some people who call themselves incel/femcel are just overly picky with unrealistic expectations of the kind of partner they can reasonably expect to draw the attention of. That is not involuntary, that is quite literally voluntary.
You are generous. Some incel/femcel types I’ve met were not picky… they were just totally undesirable human beings, either physical, socially, or emotionally.
You may not believe it, but some people are the dregs of society and nobody wants to associate with them at all and no amount of ‘improvement’ will ever make them desirable to be around or date.
Are some incels/femcels decent looking folks who are misguided? yes, and those folks may get out of their rut.
![[OC] Anon is a femcel](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/523423c1-eda5-4c6c-bf01-94be92d99bd7.png){kind=link}
Any time a group of people is open to anyone joining it’s going to get ruined by the awful people using it as an excuse to be awful. Doubly so when the original group of people is emotionally vulnerable and hurt.
Incel, Femcel, doesn’t matter. Makes no difference to awful people what they’re called if they can get in a group to collectively fantasize about being more awful than they could get way with in real life. I wish the actual people that are hurt can get the help they need to get better.
These people often have other issues too but they don’t want to accept that so instead they try and make it everybody else’s fault.
The real issue is that, most of the time, those who want to do harm are themselves emotionally vulnerable and hurt, which is why they gravitated to those in-groups in the first place. They turn their pain into justification which they feel entitles them to harm others as an act of retribution. “Eye for an eye” type shit.
Every incel/femcel began as a teenager that didn’t know better, who was probably just a little weird or was taught some bullshit by their parents, who got bullied for what they perceived as being nothing more than themselves, and they had no one to help them cope with it in a healthy way.
I wouldn’t say most of the time, but that is true to some extent. I think most of the time that the actual incels just want the emotional support that they desperately need, but when coming into contact with people online naively believe everyone that calls themselves an incel is like them. So its easy for them to be manipulated. That’s where I think much of the bad reputation online for “incel” comes from, from people that were manipulated by others looking for easy targets. Many of the people that might feequent “incel communities” genuinely need help and are unknowingly drinking from a contaminated well.
As to your second remark, not every person who has trouble with emotional connection started as a teenager that was bullied. Perhaps you are talking exclusively about the people that manipulate the vulnerable ones, in that case I can say it is probably mostly true, but there are certainly exceptions.
I like to think most of us (at least those of us on !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone) simply want to commiserate and get emotional support while we don’t have lovers.
I think most people that frequent those type of communities feel the same, and I hope you and all of the emotionally vulnerable, man or woman, are able to get real help that you need to feel better and more self-confident. Pain in the heart is not a fun thing to spend one’s time dealing with.
It really isn’t fun. Thanks for the kind words.
Serious question, has anyone ever tried making a community for both incels and femcels so they can learn about each other and find common ground? I think it could be beneficial to both.
No, they’d just hate each other.
They don’t want each other.
The whole point of dating is to get someone who is socially desirable… not someone who isn’t. Incels dont’ want femcels and femcels don’t want incels… they want chad/stacy.
Last Incel I met was a child groomer.
Oof. I can see where that would turn you off to the idea.
Come on, I’m a femcel with weird ideas like “Christians are brainwashing you”, not an evil person.
No, I get it, you made a compelling point.
Damn.
Incels and femcels are natural enemies.
I’ll put on my incel cap and you give the Incel answer: femcels dont exist. An Incel would say to a femcel “I’ll date you” and the femcels would say no therefore proving the Incels point thats its voluntary celibacy.
I won’t lie, they would kinda have a point with that.
I am not suggesting incels and femcels should date each other, that probably would be a bad idea, but some people who call themselves incel/femcel are just overly picky with unrealistic expectations of the kind of partner they can reasonably expect to draw the attention of. That is not involuntary, that is quite literally voluntary.
You are generous. Some incel/femcel types I’ve met were not picky… they were just totally undesirable human beings, either physical, socially, or emotionally.
You may not believe it, but some people are the dregs of society and nobody wants to associate with them at all and no amount of ‘improvement’ will ever make them desirable to be around or date.
Are some incels/femcels decent looking folks who are misguided? yes, and those folks may get out of their rut.