Pretty sure boy-moding at work to make life simpler is common and not just among NBs. The reality is everyone lives and works in the world as it currently is and chooses their battles.
In my case it’s more like Bowie mode. That level of fluidity seems to code for most outside the queer community as clearly “alt” but nondescript while still queer-coded to queer colleagues. The only “commentary” I get really is from other women and NBs, like pre-meeting compliment swapping or social check ins, so the nice kind.
E: That said, I’d drop Bowie mode and dial it up in a heartbeat if a new coworker seemed unconfident in their gender, so I guess I’m just looking for an excuse? sigh🥚irl
My pronoun is they/them because it’s between I don’t really care about my gender and I’m busy with something else, and to be vague (being less specific to be identified), as in, gender is IMO irrelevant in most situation, like it doesn’t affect my working performance or conversation.
Short answer: call me whatever you want as long as it’s not rude or confusing.
Long answer: gender is a very strange concept to me that seems almost entirely social in nature. If it were up to me there would be no gender binary and everyone would just have their own vibe with no judgement. Because we live in society we’re laden with expectations, and perhaps some of those expectations align better with your identity, so you’d rather live as one gender identity or another.
If I’m at home, unperceived by others I’m just going to be a genderless slob gremlin, otherwise it’s whatever I can wear that is comfortable and will allow me to avoid judgement because I don’t like attention.
If that is a gender then that is me.
I’m definitely non-binary, but I don’t have the wherewithal to correct people irl, and that goes double for the workplace. I’d rather talk about anything else in the whole world with those people, ugh. (On Lemmy though I lean towards masculine pronouns, mostly as a defense mechanism. I’m used to being seen as leaning feminine in the real world, but coming across that way on the internet scares the shit out of me.)
It’s not wherewithal, it’s not having to get caught up in a mini-argument every single time you just want to get on with life … at least that’s the case for me.
I’ve never been asked my pronouns, but have had my gender questioned a lot.
So what does it mean when you’re cis, but don’t care? People will screw up, people may attempt to use it incorrectly to be mean, but frankly at the end of the day it really doesn’t bother me.
I have no idea what it means. Wish I knew.
“What gender are you?”
I dare not delve into matters beyond comprehension, for what can be gained from peering into the unknowable? Nay, let understanding stop at the works of Gods, lest your disturbance be rectified at the lathe of Heaven
This meme cracked my egg like two years ago.
Glad I could be your lavender elder for you😊
Hi comrade/worker/prole!
