I have never met anyone who ever thought their parent was especially good, at least once you get beyond a surface level interaction with them. We are all critical of our parents, and we should be, that’s how you grow.
Folks who blame their parents for their problems however, tend not to grow and be forever stuck emotionally seeking satisfaction from the parent, or surrogate parent figures.
I meet many folks who had objectively better parents than me, who are convinced their parents are far worse than mine, and I was the one who had it better. Blows my mind, but you know, victim mentality and all that.
Met someone a few months ago who went on a rant about how their parents ‘forced’ them to become a successful person, and how they wished they could have been a slacker… and then told me I was a slacker and how amazing my parents must have been because they didn’t support me through college and graduate school financially… it was just like … OK there, you insane person. Yeah, you’re dad investing in you and supporting you and encouraging you to become independent and wildly successful in your life is… is clearly child abuse
Also been told my folks are abusive and shitty parents for not paying for my college, buying me a house, etc. and they should have never have had me if they couldn’t afford those things for me… right.
I’m not talking about abusers. I’m talking about people who re-frame their parents as abusers despite them objectively being good parents, because they are unhappy with themselves and need to blame someone. No matter how absurd it is when they talk about it.
Like, one woman I dated thought her parents were AWFUL because they ONLY gave her $50,000 as a graduation gift. And went on like this for an entire weekend, her parents are the ROOT OF ALL HER STRUGGLES because they don’t SUPPORT HER BY BUYING HER A PORSCHE SHE WANTS. And in her dumbass world, 50K wasn’t good enough, even though that easily covered a Porsche Macan.
Least to say, I never saw her again after that weekend. And she thought I was a horrible evil person who ‘used her for sex’. No, I simple wanted to get away from how horrible you were as a human being, thanks. Gets $50,000 gift, and has not a dime of gratitude about it and is enraged it’s NOT ENOUGH. I wouldn’t be surprised in she had been the one abusing her parents. Abusive children exist, but we don’t talk about that because it violates the concept that children are ‘innocent’. BTW this was a 35 year old woman with a career, not a 20 year old.
She sounds awful. I hope you told her why, maybe it would have inspired self reflection. Entitled people suck, that’s for sure. Abusive children absolutely exist, I just feel like they’re not as common as abusive parents.
I have never met anyone who ever thought their parent was especially good, at least once you get beyond a surface level interaction with them. We are all critical of our parents, and we should be, that’s how you grow.
Folks who blame their parents for their problems however, tend not to grow and be forever stuck emotionally seeking satisfaction from the parent, or surrogate parent figures.
I meet many folks who had objectively better parents than me, who are convinced their parents are far worse than mine, and I was the one who had it better. Blows my mind, but you know, victim mentality and all that.
Met someone a few months ago who went on a rant about how their parents ‘forced’ them to become a successful person, and how they wished they could have been a slacker… and then told me I was a slacker and how amazing my parents must have been because they didn’t support me through college and graduate school financially… it was just like … OK there, you insane person. Yeah, you’re dad investing in you and supporting you and encouraging you to become independent and wildly successful in your life is… is clearly child abuse
Also been told my folks are abusive and shitty parents for not paying for my college, buying me a house, etc. and they should have never have had me if they couldn’t afford those things for me… right.
Some people have pretty abusive parents and have cPTSD as a result. You can see physical proof on an MRI scan.
I’m not talking about abusers. I’m talking about people who re-frame their parents as abusers despite them objectively being good parents, because they are unhappy with themselves and need to blame someone. No matter how absurd it is when they talk about it.
Like, one woman I dated thought her parents were AWFUL because they ONLY gave her $50,000 as a graduation gift. And went on like this for an entire weekend, her parents are the ROOT OF ALL HER STRUGGLES because they don’t SUPPORT HER BY BUYING HER A PORSCHE SHE WANTS. And in her dumbass world, 50K wasn’t good enough, even though that easily covered a Porsche Macan.
Least to say, I never saw her again after that weekend. And she thought I was a horrible evil person who ‘used her for sex’. No, I simple wanted to get away from how horrible you were as a human being, thanks. Gets $50,000 gift, and has not a dime of gratitude about it and is enraged it’s NOT ENOUGH. I wouldn’t be surprised in she had been the one abusing her parents. Abusive children exist, but we don’t talk about that because it violates the concept that children are ‘innocent’. BTW this was a 35 year old woman with a career, not a 20 year old.
She sounds awful. I hope you told her why, maybe it would have inspired self reflection. Entitled people suck, that’s for sure. Abusive children absolutely exist, I just feel like they’re not as common as abusive parents.