Marked as NSFW due to the content.
Suicide is complicated. I do not count myself as suicidal nor do I have any plans but I have had daily suicidal thoughts for the past year and some change. Over and over in the back of my head I think about it. To someone who never had frequent thoughts this would be a red flag but I disagree. I haven’t told a therapist(again) because it’s useless, and I dont want to go back on antidepressants because it’ll just make me good for working, which is the point I want to make.
Suicide prevention is so meaningless without a systematic solution. A hotline can be useful in some temporary cases but it will not help somebody with permanent problems nor does it help in anything material.
hotline: " I want to end it all" “No don’t do it you have a lot to live for” “Oh okay”
Talking to friends who don’t get suicidal thoughts might as well be the same as talking to a stranger who hands you the hotline.
Saying the wrong words to a therapist will get you put on a hold, which will not help you as you’re cutoff from being an autonomous person, plus you get thrown right back into whatever BS that got you in there in the first place.
So, what is to be done?
There needs to be something better for preventing suicide for people who are tired of hotlines. Being told there’s so much left to live for is tone deaf. I think suicidal thoughts are unmet contradiction, some underlying issue that cannot be solved under capitalism: child under abusive parental control, extreme loneliness or alienation, unfulfillng career in a declining job market, unmet mental health needs due to inaccessible Healthcare (and useless hotlines), etc.
We need to do better for the disabled and those facing mental health crises. Pop psychology gave us all the terminology with none of the follow through because all signs point back to capitalism and we have to dance around the truth to pretend it’s something else. I hope we can see some improvement in my lifetime
Yeah, I have these thoughts all the time. I also have what is probably a delusion that it’s my curse and that I will die that way sooner or later. So far I’ve been choosing later. I don’t know if my contradiction can be solved, though. My mental illness’s symptoms are so intense that I just want a way out. I get treatment, both meds and therapy, but it never really makes them go away. Even if it does, it’s only temporary. I think maybe for some people a dignified, painless, and cheap/free way to go out would be a valid option. I hate saying this because I’ve railed all my life against suicide and even still don’t allow it to be an option in my mind, but I’ve been convinced that, at least in some cases, it can really be the most humane option.
Don’t take this as criticism of your post; it’s more of an addition. I totally believe that in a different system, under different circumstances, a lot (maybe even most) cases would be alleviated. Capitalism is hostile to life itself, and should be destroyed.
I have been desperate for a painless, assisted way out for decades. It’s just cruel keeping people alive like this. Especially since society doesn’t care enough to actually take care of us properly.
I’m firmly pro choice but also believe it’s okay/necessary to delay it. But without context, it’s not helpful to blanketly tell everyone not to do it. Telling someone to wait until another day I’m all for.