in light of jason arday killing himself after a smear campaign i would like to compile some tips on how i survived widespread social humiliation several times in my life without killing myself… this is more of a thread on how to survive emotionally and not end it all, not on how to deal with a mob physically attacking you.

some of these points might contradict each other because human interaction is contradictory. its important to analyze the situation on your own and make the best decision

1. accept that social isolation is the way now: if you are humiliated in a collective, ie classroom or workplace, take the liberty of cutting EVERYBODY off even those who were not directly involved and only watched. truth is you dont know the alliances and whats going on and friendships in that environment are now unsafe because you dont know who is sharing your personal vents with who.

2. (on the contrary) dont shut out everybody and keep some friendships in there: sometimes after the humiliation you will notice that not everybody was involved for real or was aware. these people you can keep with you. sometimes total isolation can make things way worse than they need to be and some people dont intend to isolate you. if you have the guts speak 1-on-1 with people in the group about what happened and tell them how you felt. you will be surprised at how many people had no idea it was that serious/impacted you that hard.

3. have a hobby: i cant stress how important this is. if it werent for my crochet i would have been in a much darker place or not here at all.

4. underestimate how little shits people give about the humiliation: when people look at you it feels like all your worst moments are bare and easy to see but nobody knows that it happened. and even if people do they dont really care much.

5. accept that most people see public humiliation as unforgiveable/the fault is on the people doing it: robberies (not burglary) are one of the crimes we rarely blame ourselves for and its good to look this way at any wrongdoing people do to u. nothing u do makes u deserving of robbery, assault, social humiliation etc. at the end of the day its you who is wronged, the shame shouldnt be with you

6. take comfort in the fact that human interpersonal relationships exist in extremes: there is torture and humiliaton but there are also cuddles and compliments, when you feel the pain remember that the total opposite of that interaction is right around the corner and if u lived to be shunned by your group you will also live to be loved by another one

its late so maybe i will update this post tommorow…