When I was little, I went to summer camp where we used an outhouse for a bathroom. The camp counselor sleeping in our cabin said that we weren’t allowed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without waking her so she could accompany us.

One night I desperately had to pee but I didn’t want to wake the counselor because I didn’t want to be a burden, so I held it as long as I could then just grabbed a towel and peed on that and threw it in the corner of the cabin, then went back to bed. The next day, one of the girls was like “does it smell like pee in here?” and was just like “uhh I dunno”… I wonder if she figured it out.

When I was a kid the teacher didn’t let me go to the bathroom so while everyone was distracted I got up and pissed behind the whiteboard.

Once I saw @FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net IRL and I said hi but they just immediately shit themselves over and over and also they called me a weenie

Had to do urinalysis as part of a group, we all stood in line drinking water while we were escorted one by one to be watched while we provided a sample. Pretty high stress, angry people running it and being very antagonistic and high energy. One guy in line couldn’t pee so he got sent to the back, couldn’t pee his 2nd time around either and told them he had to shit. Dude took a massive shit and still didn’t pee, lol. The aneurism he gave those angry piss watchers brings me great joy to this day.

That same Urinalysis I shit my pants by straining too hard trying to pee.