Wearing a Chaos Zweihander feels a bit like compensation.

More of a Str build in the streets /Dex build in the sheets kinda person.

Will you at least take off the Mask of the Child?

Puked a little in my mouth. Thanks

First off: Congratulations on getting diagnosed. It’s a huge step and 18 is a really nice timing. Untreated ADHD in adults can be really crippling, because all the supporting structures like school and family break away and suddenly you realize that managing your own time schedule and house hold is really fucking hard. So good job 👍

Second: You took 30 mg of Elvanse/LDX for the first time and you felt nothing? That’s… impressive, honestly. Methylphenidate Non Responder are fairly known, but usually that amount of dexamphetamine does something to the human body. From your age I’d guess you are not a regular user of recreational amphetamines and have built a massive tolerance…

I also started with 30 mg Elvanse and was pretty seriously zoned in, deep focus, elevated mood, highly awake, loss of appetite and a very revelatory feeling, that I could finally tackle all the bullshit that I had avoided, delayed, ignored and forgotten. For me, the 30 mg were honestly too much. Over the last year I’ve built a tolerance and am now taking 40-70mg daily, depending on the challenges of the day.

Still I wouldn’t worry. No effect also means no bad side effects. Adjusting the dosage is entirely normal in the beginning and something your psychiatrist should do anyway. The therapeutic dosage goes up to 70 mg and there are edge cases with even higher doses. There is also methylphenidate (Ritalin, MPH, etc) and Atomotexetin. But for now, just stick with what you got.

Dealing with ADHD is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve just started, so take the days as they come and trust your feelings above all else. If it works, you’ll know. And if not keep at it.

Also check out /c/neurodiverse, there are a lot of good posts and ADHD experiences shared.

I was working on a cool and powerful punch to launch my enemies of a stage so they could explode in a fiery column, only to reappear on a floating platform above me, unharmed.

Any tips on a good name?

We had a bright orange magic box that was connected to a beige windows 95 box that you were never allowed to turn off because nobody knew if it would survive a reboot and there was no software for the orange box for a more modern setup. Almost felt an like arcane ritual, typing in the command lines to get it to work.

Hell yeah. *vanse / Lisdexamphetmine / LDX was also my ADHD awakening. Congratulations on the laundry, it is truly a menace to society and the disordered mind.

How did I spend more than 30 years of my life not feeling like this? How many opportunities did I lose, how many things did I abandon because I felt like I wasn’t capable of doing them, not because of my lack of competence, but rather because there was an invisible wall of inability between me and even the simplest task? I now realize how much of a fucking legit disability ADHD is.

It is a deeply sad revelation, that frequently stirs enormous regret and anger deep in me. The only real consolation is, that you could have gone another year, another decade or the rest of your life without knowing. But now you know and you must look ahead.

I’m afraid that this effect may only be an initial honeymoon phase and I’ll eventually go back to how I was before.

There is an initial honeymoon phase, but that can last quite a few weeks, depending on how you are responding and how you adjust your dosage. There are also some annoying side effects that most people experience and there will be other challenges to overcome. But don’t worry about it. If you respond to it well, the stuff likely keeps working. It’s just not gonna be revelatory “the first day of the rest of my life” but a more balanced “this is day 258 of the rest of my life, but i like this life much much better”. So enjoy the ride and then get to work.

I can be better. There is hope.

Have you tried volleyball? Its extremely fun and being tall helps a lot.

Punctuality. Putting things away after using them. Remembering where I put my phone after putting it down in front of me one second ago. Calling you on your birthday. Opening my Mail and responding to it.

Took me 25 years to recognize I had ADHD.

On a lighter note: Chess. Hate that fucking game. Makes me feel stupid everytime I look at a board. Everything is fine and suddenly your queen is hanging and your opponent gives you a smug look, as in “did you really miss that?”.

“I thought Christmas comes only once a year…”

BOND TRUMPETS - fade to credits

Brilliant screenwriting.

Extremely punchable. Very nice.

GeForce 3 Ti 200.

Combined with a athlon xp 1800+ and blistering 512 MB DDR Ram I was simply TEARING through Warcraft 3 and Half Life. Thanks mom.

Also, the technical limitations and specifications of each console gave the games a distinct look. You can tell a SNES from a Genesis game, a PS1 from a N64. Even just game ports had their own charme, differing sometimes less, sometimes wildly between each console.

It all converged in the PS2 era and now it’s just differently branded PCs.

Of course. He’s not genetically evil. Essentialism is bad. He grew up in the most cold hearted, disgusting, bourgeois circumstances at the heart of capital and just kept going with it.

It’s in fact another damning argument against capitalism and patriarchy. It produces evil in people as a byproduct.

Eradication is really hard. If you just kill mosquitoes in a certain area, what’s gonna stop them from coming back? You’re just not gonna get all of them.

This way you introduce a mutation that can actually propagate through the gene pool, disabling the undesired trait for future generations. It’s also highly selective, so that you don’t accidentally get rid of other species or poison an area with pesticides.

Also living beings have no “purpose”. They fill an evolutionary niche and shape the ecological system around them. The piss off us, so we play a little god, but nature has no opinions or morals whatsoever.

Most peaceful American news outlet

I just want to stop feeling so bad but i know it’s because i still haven’t properly moved on. It doesn’t help that they told me there was a possibility of rekindling it but i know that’s not the right choice for either of us and I really don’t want a FWB type situation either.

The fact that you don’t give in to this, is a great sign of moving on. You’re not blinded by desire or false hope. Your brain understands and your heart will follow. It’s just a little more inert.

There’s always something that reminds me of them every day whether it be a bench we sat on, a gift, song, food, etc you get the idea.

The biggest cry I had after a breakup was a month after I she left me. I was walking home at night and something reminded me of us walking the same way and I just stopped and cried sitting on a wall for 30 minutes or so. It hurt so much but now I know, that this was pure catharsis. I’ve tried to fight the sadness, “get over it”, move on, not feel bad anymore. But what I needed was to bawl my eyes out until they burnt with snot spread all over my jacket. And when I was done I was okay.

Embrace it. You’re alive and you loved and this what you get for that. It will pass, no matter what you do, but until then it’s yours.

The only real advice i got is to listen to your favorite sad songs a lot and to take an hour long shower until your brain had dissolved in the mist and your skin is almost peeling off.

From the boring point of view of an office worker, who worked in a yellow office with furniture that was older than me…

The renovation of my office was a truly appreciated. Ergonomic tables and chairs, new carpet, actual white walls and getting rid of 80% of the old file cabinets make life so much nicer. I put up a union poster, a painting, two plants and i do not miss the yellow plastic stains one bit.

Edit: also this forum isn’t the worst place to start. User ReadFanon has written great posts and comments about ADHD and AuDHD, which I found very helpful.

Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:

Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that’s alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.

Lazy is not: I want to get up but can’t. I want to clean my room, but don’t know where to start so I don’t. I want to do my work but can’t. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?

If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.

ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.

Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.