Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.

It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.

It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?

  • constantokra
    2·
    11 months ago

    I’m autistic and I have sensory issues with sound. I find that reducing stress overall helps with stressors I can’t reduce. If I know i’m going somewhere difficult, a short burst of intense exercise beforehand really helps too. Even sprinting for a minute or two. Burns off some of the stress hormones so i’m not starting with a deficit. Blood pressure medication has also really helped.

    I also use Sony wf-1000xm4 earbuds with noise cancelling. They’re not the best noise cancelling, like over ear headphones, but they’re about the best pocketable option around. It really knocks down the noise to a manageable level, and you can play some light relaxing music if you want to block it out entirely. You might benefit from that, if the cost doesn’t put you off.

    You might also think about the way you process sound. Autistic people, for instance, frequently experience all the sound at once, with no filters. Most people filter out a lot of what they’re not interested in. Without filters, those specific noises keep you from hearing anything else, basically. It’d be like someone walked into a room where you were reading and turned off the light, or came up to you at the gym and started smoking a cigar in your face.