As the title states really. I need to refer to this diverse group of people, who somehow have gotten put in the same box labeled “sexual minorites”.
I’m a boring CISHET vanilla white male, so I don’t really know. I want to include as many as I can when I refer to “lgbtq+ people”. I’ve been studying various flags, trying to find the one flag I need. But I can’t really figure it out.
Is lgbtq+ the preferred term, or what should I use? Is a flag better? I don’t want to hurt someone by not including them.
Am also a boring, (getting) old white bloke: is something like “rainbow folk” not appropriate?
I know the Wear It Purple day organisers refer to kids who are questioning/curious as “rainbow kids” (at least, that’s what a trans coworker told me they called them).
Edit: honestly, it’d just be nice if we didn’t have to label people at all. Y’know - everyone’s a human deserving of dignity and respect, no matter where they come from, how they look, what they believe in, and who they love.
But, again, I get that I’m a boring old white bloke, and it’s probably a lot easier for me to say this than it is for those folks who feel oppressed/suppressed in some way. I just wish it weren’t the case.
“Queer” works.
Everyone between age 30 and 60 will accept the label immediately.
Some people under the age of 30 will get offended but they’re the kind of people who like getting offended so you can safely ignore them.
Some people over the age of 60 will get offended but who cares, they’re about to get dementia anyway.
Can I respectfully ask, what’s the definition of queer as opposed to lesbian, gay, bi, trans or intersex? As in, why is it included in the acronym? Does it have a specific meaning that isn’t covered by the other terms?
“Queer” is a catchall term. It specifically does not have a specific meaning. It’s meant for people who do not fit into the cishet idea of gender, but also don’t fall neatly into the L, G, or B of LGBT.
“Queer” technically encompasses the L, G, and B too. Anything outside of cishet “norm”. A fully straight metrosexual could consider himself queer.
Plus its one of the letters in the growing acronym.
I use the term “queer” to describe myself because my sexual identity (which is something like bisexual or pansexual) and my neurodivergence have made me something of a cultural outcast throughout most of my life. I don’t really “fit in” with most people, and “queer” describes that experience pretty succinctly.
To the person you are responding to, I am cautious about using this word too broadly because some people have specific trauma around this word. Bigots often wield the word like a weapon, so people who are subjected to that and don’t have adequate supports to deal with that trauma can get offended by it. I don’t think we should so flippantly dismiss that. It works for me. It doesn’t work for others.
I think there’s something to be said for not self-censoring due to the potential of someone’s personal trauma. Respectfully, some random person’s issues are not my problem and should not affect my ability to identify myself or others, as long as I’m not doing so in a mean spirited way. If words cause you mental issues, you should work on that with a therapist. I will not coddle you.
Hear hear!
To be totally honest, that’s somewhat my sentiment for wanting to do something. Some other commenter thanked me for my attitude … I feel weird about that, because I think of it as respectful common decency towards my fellow humans.
I really like the rainbow word though, it’s not as gringe as the letter combinations, not as potentially offensive as some of the words rainbow folks self apply, and it still get the meaning across while being inclusive of all.