I think I’d apply for the position of guy who’s super interested in something that’s only interesting cause it’s gsmeplay relevant. I’d stand by a river staring at it day and night and when the protagonist talks to me I’d say “I’d bet I could use a boat to cross this river.”
pokemon npc that just starts yappin a factoid off a snapple cap after making eye contact with a stranger before engaging in sanctioned cockfighting
Ooh! What npc trainer type would you be? I’d either be COOLTRAINER or BIKER
Excuse me the best trainer type is clearly CUEBALL
PARASOL LADY but I fight in the battles too (Pound, Slam, Peck, also V-create [this one has nothing to do with the parasol I’m just built different])
Does the parasol give you the flying type?
i am slightly stretching the definition of “beak or horn”
I wanna say Gambler but then they’d change me to “G*mer” in later gens so idk lemme think about it
That was my second option
Absolutely not any of these idiots watching weeb quidditch
Srsly. Zanarkand sucks
That’s actually Luca
Also sucks
At least the rules are better (even if the gameplay is shit)
And there was more worldbuilding involved.
It actually resembles a sport that people might actually play, unlike Quidditch where only one player on each of the teams actually matters.
Take out the water and have it be played in an anti-gravity field and you’ve got a top-tier sci fi sport IMO.
I’d be so pissed off if I didn’t get the position of main character on the quidditch team.
Yeah, it’s like… why even play? Every single person on the Quidditch team should just drop what they’re doing and help the Seeker find and catch the Snitch as fast as possible.
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The main antagonist that everyone secretly likes more than the main characters.
What? Villains aren’t playable so it’s technically an NPC
What’s your inexplicable monstrous final form that you can apparently become whenever you want but just didn’t before?
Big fat owl
Will you give exposition and have inverted yes/no responses?
Hoohoo! You’ve already come a long way @GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net! It seems you must got to Castle town, but be careful!
Did you get all that?
Yes
->No
Did you get all that?
Peepee
-> Poopoo
Better than the main antagonist is being the secret boss who’s even stronger than the final boss
Guy who just says “. . .” and blocks your way until you fulfill some arbitrary plot threshold
i’d be the puff puff girl from dragon quest
i’ll be taking no further questions at this time.
Since I’m in my thirties, and therefore expendable in a JRPG, I’d like to be the NPC who has an optional quest where main characters play matchmaker. Give me the safest happily ever after please.
That’d be pretty tight.
I would say “guy who says ‘welcome to [town name]’” but I already hate seeing cars with Florida and New Jersey plates normally
One of those people in dragon quest games that are just chilling in the bottom of a well
Somsnosa hylics
I’m that weird collector always asking for your stuff and giving nothing back, but if you give me one of all 297 unique item types I forge them all into the Ultimate Weapon for your jack-of-all-trades party member. Of course I don’t help you keep track of what items you gave me, how did you know?
I am going to be a youngster who’s super enthusiastic about an article of clothing. My hat, my sparkly dress, my shorts, you name it. Then after my dialogue I do a spin and little stars shoot around my character sprite.
That’s a good one. Really specific but also ubiquitous
Snorlax.
Seriously, fuck this work shit I just want to nap.
Not even a Snorlax who’s sleeping and blocking off a bottleneck to the next town, and you have to wake it up with a Pokéflute to progress. Just a Snorlax sleeping somewhere.
Beat call. We could all learn from your wisdom. Snorlax is a cool pokemln
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Glaring at a cliff face
“I could climb this cliff with a LADDER”
comtimies staring at cliff face
I’d be tutorial guy only I’d reference controls for a different system. Press “P” to open the party window.
Press triangle to exit
Codec contact who tells you the history of the sino Soviet split before telling you how brick pattern came helps you blend with bricks