• 7bicycles [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I see people saying variations of “what they mean is that they couldn’t just be FWB”. That’s not what is being said though

    According to the post she did say she wouldn’t be just FWB or Hookups with but marry". Which does arrive you at “You’re hot and I want to boink you, but I couldn’t just boink you because then I’d be lovesick on account of how great you are” which is a sick ass, major compliment, but I really do understand how the 1 - 2 levels of abstraction required to get there might easily be missed in the heat of the moment and smart a bit and how starting your bedroom compliment with “I wouldn’t hook up with you” could use some polish

    • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      I feel like I’m missing something because in the body she says “he wasn’t someone I would hook up with or be fwb with, but marry” which to me is very different than “some I wouldn’t just …”

      • frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        she obviously likes him cause she’s distraught that they’re having relationship issues. she was drunk when she made the comment. you seriously wouldn’t find it endearing to have your drunk partner give you a silly and awkwardly phrased compliment? I think that sounds awesome.

        But even if I didn’t, I would ask about it the next day inatead of abruptly leaving. Surely this could have been cleared up with a short conversation.

        • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          I gotta be honest I find your response here annoying as it seems to be arguing against a lot of stuff I haven’t said, whilst not engaging with what I said. It also doesn’t answer my question.

          she obviously likes him cause she’s distraught that they’re having relationship issues. she was drunk when she made the comment.

          I do not see what that has to do with what I wrote. I did not write anything about wether or not she liked him, I am writing about how I interpret what has been said and in this comment you’re responding to I am asking about the specific language used. The premise for the post is that she intended to compliment him and he didn’t take it as a compliment and now she’s distraught. It’s a given that she likes him and that she didn’t intend this, and I have not argued against either. I don’t get why you seem to think that I am.

          you seriously wouldn’t find it endearing to have your drunk partner give you a silly and awkwardly phrased compliment?

          No I actually hate getting compliments from my partner 🙄
          This is again not really related to what I’m writing. The discussion isn’t wether or not people enjoy compliments, but wether or not what was said is actually a compliment.

          But even if I didn’t, I would ask about it the next day inatead of abruptly leaving. Surely this could have been cleared up with a short conversation.

          Yeah, I agree? Again I’m also not writing about wether or not he was justified in reacting like he did, just how I also do not see it as a compliment.

    • The_Jewish_Cuban [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Especially since they were both drunk at the time. That could very easily increase the breakdown in communication. Whether it be the man misinterpreting or the woman misremembering exactly how it was said. It makes me think of how I sometimes get a bit rambly when I’m drunk and the point can kinda get lost.