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Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 year ago

Breaking News: Cheating alleged after men’s world conker champion found with steel chestnut

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Breaking News: Cheating alleged after men’s world conker champion found with steel chestnut

archive.today

Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    This is the very first time I’ve ever heard of this. Not just the controversy but the actual sport itself.

    <insert witty comment about men and their nuts competition here>

    • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I was gonna make a Conker’s Bad Fur Day joke.

      • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        I was about to do exactly that untill I saw this comment. sadness

    • Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      afaik it’s just a british and irish thing, there are horse chestnut trees absolutely everywhere here. gotta do something with the seeds

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    That is a nuanced and insightful argument, unfortunately I have portrayed myself as the steel chestnut and you as the crying wojak chestnut

  • OgdenTO [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Good find. Important stuff. Riveting mystery.

    • Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      the people deserve to know

      • OgdenTO [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        I hope you post updates when available to see if they get to the bottom of the disintegrating pieces

  • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    idk if people who have English as their first language feel the same way about it, but conker, especially in a phrase like “men’s world conker championship”, always sounds like some regional British slur to me.

  • CarbonScored [any]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      If your enemy must pack your parachute then see that you pack his as well

      • sun tzu probably idk i haven’t had my coffee yet.
  • Sam [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

    • PeepWilliams@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      If this copypasta??? Is conker some kind of inside joke?

      • CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Conker refers to the seed of a British chestnut, and is also the name of a game where you carefully drill a hole through the seed, feed a string through it, tie it so it becomes a tiny, organic wrecking ball. Your goal is to swing your conker at another child’s conker until one of them breaks.

        It’s one of those old timey children’s games like chasing a hoop with a stick or playing marbles or smoking cigarettes at the age of 9.

      • Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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        1 year ago

        tfw you don’t know what conkers are

      • Findom_DeLuise [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        sam@localhost:~$: crem

        Permission denied.

        sam@localhost:~$: sudocrem

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Its a childrens game where you tie string to a chestnut then swing the chestnuts together trying to break them.

  • gaystyleJoker [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    this is fucked… hopefully he goes to jail

    • Eco [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      prison abolition except for this guy tbh

  • blobjim [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Jakins was responsible for drilling and inserting strings into other competitors’ chestnuts as the competition’s top judge, known as the “King Conker”.

    So a competitor prepares other competitors’ “gear”? I guess if it’s small enough that the only people at the event are competitors.

  • RomCom1989 [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    New cheating thread agony-deep

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    There truly is no bottom to the well of human depravity.

    I wrote a quick and dirty set of rules for conkers in D&D once. The idea was pretty much this article; some kid had come by a magic +1 chestnut and was cheating their way through the city conkers leagues and somehow the party got roped in to a quest to end the kids reign of terror. Like all the other kids in the city scraped up five gp or something to hire adventurers. I’m not sure if we ever got around to actually playing it.

    • barrbaric [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Just go out and buy a +2 chestnut ezpz

  • Lyudmila [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    deleted by creator

  • un_mask_me [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Democracy manifest

  • shath [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    the conker plonker in world champion stonker makes everyone else somber

  • ItsPequod [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Conkers Bad Fur Day kelly

  • CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    This is the immediate aftermath of the sun finally setting on the British empire. Co-incidence?

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