Make it so the first sub rule prohibits the use of any “Teslurs”.

Take anything critical of Tesla and either turn it into the most saccharine praise of Tesla or play directly into the Tesla owner exceptionality/victimhood complex, e.g.:

Even nature itself recognises how cool Teslas are. I don’t see any racoons trying to break into your F-150, Darren.

Watch the Tesla owners as they are baffled and slightly unnerved by the sub, unsure as to whether they’re part of a cargono-go cult or if the whole sub is collectively mocking them because the lines are too blurry to make out what’s actually going on in there.

Send Elon’s main account a moderator invite so he is definitely aware of the sub. Know that Elon Musk’s weird ageplay alt is a subscriber and that he seethes with rage knowing about the sub’s existence.

  • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.netOP
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    25 days ago

    Just think of the benefits you could reap by always having access to your workplace by Neuralink!

    That brilliant idea you have in the middle of the night? Straight into a document on your workplace computer, without even needing to turn on a light.

    On holidays and you wanted to quickly check in on the progress of that big project? No worries, just tap into your work email account wirelessly while you enjoy the tropical beach as you relax!

    Emergency in the office? You will now get an immediate notification, any hour of the day and any day of the week, so you can address the problem straight away instead of waiting until 9am Monday morning and being caught completely unawares!

    Mark my words, this is the next big thing. The divide between the “haves” and the “have-nots” will be about who has a Neuralink implant. No employer will choose to hire a non-Neura over the coming Neuralink master race!

    • Hohsia [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      25 days ago

      As a manager, it will be amazing to see when my employees have gone idle on teams. Instead of implementing a push notification to me, I’m going to see if there is an integration in the tesla store that allows you to send a message to their chip which warns them to get back to work.

      Chips belong to my company from the hours of 9-5 which is a clause in the contract for security purposes, so I can’t emphasize enough how important this is for emphasizing one our core values of going above and beyond at all costs to ensure continued growth