God if this happened 15 years ago I’d be super upset and defensive. I try to apply the Hexbear Code of Conduct in the real world, so I’m probably above average for cis men for being decent to trans people (but still there’s a lot of space to grow!). I’ve always failed miserably at being a normal cis guy, I’m shit at sports, I don’t do tough guy attitude well, and I’m pretty kind and emotional. I’ve also taken advantage of the recent explosion of gender fluidity recently to update my style a bit: there are more pinks and pastel colours in my wardrobe than their used to be.
I forgot to mention, my voice has a bit of a “gay twang”, as friends have told me. Thankfully it’s never bothered me, but I get asked if I’m gay a lot.
So maybe it’s partly my fault, but a couple of the younger trans people in my life are convinced that I’m a trans woman. I think it’s sweet, they’ve let me into their secret club. They often reassure me that I’m a woman if I want and that’s OK.
My only real fear is that I’ll waste their time or their good intentions. They seem really motivated to help me socially transition, but I can’t see going anywhere past a cis dude that sometimes wears cute shirts.
LOL @ the comments. You do you, OP. I think the egg-jacketing people do is a bit counterproductive. I know trans men who still like to present as high femme for fun. And of course, gay cis men have a lot more leeway with gender presentation than straight-presenting men. so when people are sure that a dude is an egg, it can actually promote gender essentialism.
Just remember: it doesn’t make you less of a man if you want to take estrogen for funsies ;)
I think there’s really two sides to the “egg” culture. On the one hand, the culture can sometimes lead to essentializing certain gender presentations as belonging to one gender or another, which is decidedly a bad thing; on the other hand, the egg culture must be seen in context as a form of inverting the way cis people treat trans people, which cis allies knowing their privilege must be able to weather.
Ultimately, though, for me calling someone an egg has really nothing to do with the gender presentation itself so much as how the person in question relates to it.
For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.
A guy dressing kind of fem or andro and getting mistaken for a girl or something isn’t necessarily gonna give me egg vibes, but if you go on the internet and make a post like “omg isn’t it soo weird how this happened.” I am
For me it’s more the act of purposefully going on the internet and making a post about it.
I think I entertained a few dozen people here, and the post had it’s intended purpose.
Yeah, that’s really what I was trying to get at.
I appreciate it. I made this post with the expectation that I’d be dunked on a bit. If people are enjoying themselves, that’s cool. Thankfully I’ve reached the stage of my life that it doesn’t bother me what people think about my gender. God forbid these convos happened when I was 14.
If anyone is dunking on you for this post or being anything other then infinitely supportive of your gender journey they should not only be banned from Hexbear but also the earth
This is the trans agenda at work
The trans mission
I’m actually the continuously variable type
Me and my friends from uni all transed our gender, except one guy. So it was always a good natured joke that we were waiting for him to crack his egg to complete our work. As far as I know, he’s really cishet just super cool with LGBTQ people. Which, hey, there’s gotta be at least a few if we were to have any hope for the future
what’s the het version of a grungler
I hear you brother I make “I’m definitely not a woman” posts all the time
Cis dude who wears cute shirts is a great type of guy
My “Not a trans egg” T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Not trying to be rude, but this is a pretty
post to me.Like subconsciously bragging about “passing” or “male-failing” almost.
Or the last line where it feels less like an assertive denial of being trans and more something you don’t think is in the cards for you.I’m not trying to convince you, but I figured I’d comment since you made the post.
Honestly it’s fine. I appreciate the advice. I just feel that I’m middle aged and have had a lot if time to think over if I feel like I’m a woman. I don’t feel especially drawn to being a woman, although being male is very ehh honestly.
Being the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ gender is a valid choice. You know who you are, and that’s cool. And if who you are changes, that’s cool. You are still you, and people who love you will support you.
A lot of people don’t know this but building a custom gender is real cheap and easy. I did it in my back yard with some old wooden pallets.
I don’t feel especially drawn to being a woman, although being male is very ehh honestly.
i don’t really resonate with the egg-crack language b/c it feels very binary trans centric to me (maybe that’s just internalized phobia though, i really don’t know), but it took me a while to realize cis men and cis women don’t generally feel indifferent toward masculinity and femininity respectively, and that made me consider whether i might be on the agender spectrum. it’s just something to consider - honestly, when you get into the realm of “very gender-nonconforming cis guy” and “some flavor of enby,” the line gets kind of murky and arbitrary (in a freeing - not minimizing - kind of way, in that gender can really be whatever Feels Right). to elaborate, someone in this thread already brought up how being cis-but-gay opens up so, so much more variance in socially acceptable gender expression, and a lot of more outwardly queer gay dudes are probably more nonconforming than I am and are comfortable at “he/him” whereas I’m not, so there truly is a very vibes-based, it-is-what-you-feel dimension to all this.
i do think immediately saying “hehe eggposting” isn’t very respectful of your individual journey and falls into the trap a lot of queer people do where they project their personal self discovery process onto others as some universal roadmap, and can lean into gender essentialist bullshit. i’ve also never been a fan of the “cis people don’t think about gender, if you’re thinking about it a lot you’re trans” line because, while it may contain a grain of truth, i think everyone should be encouraged to think about gender intentionally. e.g., you really think a super cishet gymbro isn’t chasing some version of gender euphoria trying to get swole?? (also, certain anxiety disorders cause you to obsessively interrogate questions of identity even if the experiences of those identities clearly don’t line up with your personal experience (iykyk))
When the cis is sus 🤣🤣🤣
so I’m probably above average for cis men for being decent to trans people
Well, well, well! Quite an ego we’ve got here.
But to be honest, I would more realistically put you in the top 1% (if you actually end up being a cis man). I’ve literally never seen a single thing from you that was even remotely transphobic, and that’s not something that many cis people can claim.
I appreciate it. To be fair, I had a lot of transphobia inside that Hexbear beat out of me. I didn’t take part in any of the vicious struggle sessions, but I definitely read and gained from them. So thank you trans people of Hexbear for making me grow a lot.
Egg posting I see
Genuine question since I’m new to a lot of trans stuff and don’t want to get it wrong: What does “egg” mean in this context?
trans person who has yet to realize they’re trans. You get pretty good at picking up on the signs when you’re trans (and know it)
Thank you! A lot of posts now finally make sense to me
A trans person who has yet to realize/accept the fact they are trans. When they do come out their “egg” has cracked. 💜
Thank you comrade
To add on to what others gave already said, a lot of eggs don’t realize they’re trans because they see specific behaviors and thoughts as “normal,” like fish who don’t see the water they swim in. Often eggs will think things like “Of course everyone has thoughts about being the opposite gender and having the body to go with it!” not realizing no, cis people do not constantly wish they could occupy opposite bodies. Having constant thoughts like that is a sign you’re an egg.
It’s similar to bisexual and pansexual people who think “Of course everyone has sexual fantasies involving all genders! But I’m straight because I don’t participate in homosexual behaviors,” not realizing that straight people don’t have those same fantasies or thoughts. Being trans isn’t a sexuality (obviously), but it’s how cisheteronormativity is forced onto everything, causing LGBTQ+ people to not realize they’re LGBTQ+.
Eggs remain eggs instead of cracking because they continue to conform to gender roles pushed on them by the rest of life, starting with being assigned a gender at birth by parents and doctors.
Take this description with a grain of salt since I’m a cishet guy. Anyone feel free to correct me if I’ve said something wrong or inappropriate.
July 12, 3:41 AM
Big
energy and I’m here for it.I know I never want to be a woman but I also have known for years that being a man is dumb. For many younger years I told people that I am what masculinity/maleness is, not what society thinks masculinity/maleness is. Those other men are wrong fuck them, basically. These days I don’t care about what gender folks prescribe to me. I don’t really have a gender I feel like for myself I’m just me and however I’m seen is how I’m seen. A lot of that comes from a place of privilege but also it just comes from I don’t care about my own gender. It’s whatever. I’m gonna do whatever I wanna do and wear what I want and hang out with who I want and whatever gender someone thinks I am doesn’t impact this.
So it’s okay for you to just be like whatever. You can be a woman or a man or something in between or something else entirely or nothing at all. It’s up to you. And you can change your mind any time you want and as often as you want. Gender is cool like that. The fact that you’re cool and comfy with how you’re being perceived is enough and someday if you feel differently you’ve got options and you’ve clearly already got a cool community who is there to help you figure it out.
The Gender Journey is cool wherever we end up.
When I say this sounds like eggposting I mean it literally sounds like something I would have posted about 2-3 years before mine cracked
It’s good to explore that part of yourself. You get to learn the whole you and the parts that were always there but suppressed because of the overbearing cultural patriarchy bullshit. It’s a spectrum on both gender and sexuality. Maybe you’re non binary? You’ll figure that out. Just be happy.
Love and respect to trans comrades, but it’s fine to be a cis (and even straight!) dude and a decent person too. I sometimes get this as a relatively big burly looking man even. Having a healthy expression of emotion, not taking part in traditionally “masculine” activities, and God forbid having any pink in my wardrobe doesn’t make me a woman though lmao. For what it’s worth I’m philosophically an anti-realist about gender and just don’t concern myself with expressing or behaving in line with any particular norms - but that’s from a place of privilege as I’m fine with being perceived and treated like a man most of the time. Doesn’t stop my trans/queer friends from projecting from time to time, which is normal. We want to see ourselves in the people we enjoy and that’s just part of human psychology. They’ll make “in” jokes with me and both expect/want me to laugh along, and certainly haven’t given up flirting with me despite my polite and good humored disinterest. Go figure- because empathy isn’t actually a gendered phenomenon cis guys can understand experiences outside of their own, despite so much evidence to the contrary in the general population lol. I can love and respect and even relate to them and their experiences without having experienced it myself.
There’s nothing wrong if in however much time you look back on this and laugh because the egg accusations were real or anything, but as one comfortably if not “traditionally” cis guys to a self-professed other, I want to say you’re valid too lol. The kind folks you’re interacting with are doing what they wish had been done for them, and that’s super sweet. In my experience, they probably won’t stop no matter how many times you politely dismiss it, and that’s fine too. It doesn’t bother me and they, I think, feel reassured in themselves by continuing to offer. All is well.
