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RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 days ago

Hetero-fellas, the bar is THIS low, y'all can do it

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Hetero-fellas, the bar is THIS low, y'all can do it

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RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 3 days ago
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  • SovietBeerTruckOperator [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    I proposed to my wife by kidnapping her and putting her in a custom built underground cell for a week depriving her of natural light and only feeding her white rice and Gatorade. Every night I’d blast the theme song to Barney at full volume into the cell.

    Finally I came down in a mask with a box and told her she had to see what was inside, and sure enough it was a ring.

    She said no, and now im doing five years in prison deeper-sadness

    • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 days ago

      #GamersRiseUp #MGTOW

  • BanSwitch2Buyers [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    I literally can’t. I’ve made a big sign that I carry out and about that says “LOOKING FOR A SWITCH2-FREE GIRL FRIEND” and I’ve only met one woman with it and she had a Switch2 and said she thought I was joking and I said I definitely wasn’t and then a bunch of stuff that my lawyer told me not to talk about happened.

    Sucks.

    • BanSwitch2Buyers [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      Imagining my future girlfriend coming home with a Switch 2 box. I freak out. She says “look inside the box.” I look. It’s a wedding ring. She asks “will you marry me?”

      I say no. How fucking dare you ruin this moment with your little scheme.

      • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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        2 days ago

        Switch 2 is apparently really bad tho

        • SchillMenaker [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 days ago

          Is it as bad as The Patriarchy?

          • BanSwitch2Buyers [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            2 days ago

            I’m going to say it.

            The Switch 2 is patriarchal.

            No, I will not explain.

  • BadTakesHaver [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    are you saying I should cancel my plans to fake an active shooting to propose to my gf

  • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    how did this moron get a first date?

    • RedSailsFan [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      bar is below hell tbh

      • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.net
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        2 days ago

        wouldn’t know, i haven’t had an in-person conversation outside of immediate family in years

  • salmoura@lemmy.eco.br
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    2 days ago

    The Clint Eastwood gif in the original thread is most appropriate.

  • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netM
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    2 days ago

    Look ive had some bad ideas before but at least I never got close to this

  • Aradino [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    What the FUCK

    This is grounds for murder tbh. Straight up mock execution

    • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 days ago

      check the one I posted last year with the same title, let me grab it for ya

      https://hexbear.net/post/3001966

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      They’re lucky someone didn’t walk into the store, see a guy pointing a gun at people cowering on the floor, then open fire with a real gun, thinking they’re saving the lives of three people. Like holy shit there’s so much that can go wrong here. Especially if some cop saw this going down and decided this was the perfect time to spray and pray a store.

  • XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    this is actually demonic

  • QuillcrestFalconer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Incredibly fucked up but also so funny at the same time

  • TheLepidopterists [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Jesus Christ, what could possess a man to do that

  • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Bro what the fuck

  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    I’d say yes just to take the ring, sell that bitch, buy some Pabst and just get tanked.

    What a fucking clown.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      M’am the beer is going to treat you way better than he is.

  • Azarova [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    coming around to the conclusion that the cishets have never been okay

  • Comrade_Mushroom [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    lea-sweat

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Ah yeah Inside Edition, being classy since forever.

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