Bi guys are the best. Me too, thanks.
I’ve seen so many cases of staunch progressive groups weaponize a guys sexuality as soon as they have a falling out with him. Its like these people never believed what they were saying. People are so spineless and have no morals.
There is a weird bias against bisexual men in media. Someone I knew even once said she didn’t believe bisexual men existed, all men are either straight or gay. For me self identification is important. If someone tells me they’re straight but I believe they’re bisexual, I’m going to call them straight.
The funniest part about this to me is that the AIDs epidemic actually forced medical researchers to accept that sometimes guys have sex with other guys, and they even created the term “Men who have Sex with Men” or MSM to cover this fact, since they aren’t necessarily gay or bi.
Like, society needs to get over this. Sometimes people have sex with other people. Sometimes they happen to be different genders, sometimes they’re the same. It only means whatever it means to the people fucking and little else
Did they say no homo first?
No but they kept their socks on so it’s good
Am I weird if I like to keep my socks on?
I had a gay friend who up on learning of that “get out of gay free card” said “well shit I guess I’ve been straight all this time!”
The no homo spell kills aids.
People like this are the progressive version of evangelicals. And like with Christianity they don’t get called out enough to keep it from becoming a major problem.
Villainizing male sexuality is why we have a whole new generation boys heading into alt right circles and so far the response has been a variant of telling them to ‘man up.’ And its going to get a lot worse before it gets even a little better.
This is the root of the problem with much of the discussion around male identity online.
Women finally, and rightfully, gained a voice, and plenty of dudes listened. Many of them, not really understanding feminism as an academic discipline or having any real sympathy towards any aspect of being a man, used that voice to point of the many issues faced by women in the world and to fight for women.
Where this falls apart is that because of the lack of real understanding regarding feminism and the concept of patriarchy, a lot of it boiled down to “shut up, the women are talking” and “we don’t care about your problems”
None of this makes the problems away, none of this is really geared towards equality, and much of it is just switching the genders on deeply toxic patriarchal power structures that were used to oppress women for centuries.
When you think about how stupid 90% of the people involved on both sides of this discourse online are, it’s of little surprise so many women went looking for easy answers from hucksters who pitched exploitation and oppression as empowerment.
I really liked bell hooks’s approach to this. She focuses on incorporating male problems into feminism as a focal point, not excluding them.
Interesting. What’s a good place to start reading what bell hooks said about this?
The Will to Change by bell hooks is the book you want! Short read too, but very meaningful. I’ve been making my way through it extremely slowly for several months, trying to digest everything. It’s interesting to see how she often conflicts with a lot of contemporary feminists as well.
The Will to Change by bell hooks is the one book that made me feel seen as a person. Usually I open a feminist book with the suspicion that the author will be like “all men are evil” and that usually makes me care less about feminism for a while. But that book was a pleasant surprise, it spoke to me and not at me.
Well said! I like the acknowledgment that men being at the table can help and may be better to address patriarchy and other problems that face everyone. We all move forward together or no one does.
none of this is really geared towards equality, and much of it is just switching the genders on deeply toxic patriarchal power structures that were used to oppress women for centuries.
I think this is a little over the top…
deleted by creator
they don’t get called out enough to keep it from becoming a major problem.
idk man 9 times out of 10 I hear someone talking about progressives, they’re exclusively referring to the most hypocritical ones. Like, when does anyone talk about the normal progressives that just want good things for everyone? That’s boring.
I don’t count conservatives
okay, but then, who else is talking about progressives?
OMG i’ve been saying this for years and every time I get bashed for it (in liberal/left/prog circles)
Because you can’t suggest that the (liberal/left/blue/prog/nonfash) aren’t perfect or are doing something not ideal
I am a straight white man and I can’t even weigh in on this issue because if I defend the bi ppl ill get a stigma attached to me
I wouldn’t consider a woman that drops a guy for this reason to be a progressive.
You would be suprised by how much of the left hates bisexuals, without realizing that makes them as bad as any other bigot
I’ve had these conversations with people before. I was telling a fellow man how I don’t care if my partner is bi. He said something like “woah man, there can be some major trust issues there” implying that her “homosexual needs” will lead her to cheat on me with my sister or something. I didn’t follow his logic.
I’m a straight male. My wife is bi. The most important part of her orientation, to me, is that it means everyone else was my competition for her love instead of just other men, but I still won.
That’s always how I looked at it.
As if straight/gay people don’t cheat all the time because they’re apparently not getting their “needs” met. The person being shitty is the issue, not their sexuality.
Exactly.
Damn it, not all bi people are greedy horn dogs.
I mean, I am, but not all of us are.
Some of the weirdest shit I have seen in the LGBT sphere is how comfortable some of them are with dictating who is allowed to date whom and whether or not their preferences are okay.
It’s the main reason I don’t really vibe with the LGBT community. Don’t mind gays and trans and whatever else is out there. Normal people living their normal lives and loving the people they love and finding ways to be comfortable in their own bodies is how things should be.
But the LGBT sometimes reminds me of organized religion. It’s not the individual believer who lives his or her life in peace who is the problem, but the weird cultlike behavior going on in the group where everybody has to hold the same opinions that tend to become progressively more extreme over time until the church controls every aspect of your life. Including whom your are allowed to love.
But it is difficult to bring this up without immediately being labeled a phob because the LGBT owns non-straight sexuality and if you criticize the movement, you criticize all the non straight people.
BLM has similar vibes.
I just don’t like groups. Churches, political groups, grassroots movements, you name it. It all ends up the same in the end. With group pressure, control, shaming and ostracizing when you don’t toe the line.
If I learned anything in my 20s, its that being a part of any ideological groups is not in your best interest. No matter how good and safe it feels in the beginning.
blahaj.zone basically
Turns into an authoritarian cult. You’re either completely with them or fully against them
I don’t think they are the only ones on this platform, tbh xD I will say that I have run into some chill blåhaj people here and I have run into people who are affiliated with entirely different instances or what you call them that have displayed some of the most unhinged, unpleasant behavior I have experienced online. I was so close to just delete myself from this platform and forget about having any online social outlet after a series of interactions with particularly disgusting individuals on here. I can kind of see why they were banned off of reddit, ngl. I haven’t interacted enough with blåhaj people to say if they are as bad as that or not. Seems like a mixed bag to me.
The most pleasant people on here that I have met have mostly been my fellow Danes and all the Linux people. For whatever reason, the Linux fanatics just tend to be super welcoming and encouraging which statistically shouldn’t be the case. All lived experience tells me that groups that are obsessed with a specific topic/lifestyle are usually some of the worst people to be around. Doesn’t matter the subject. But somehow these nerds manage to be chill. 😆
I have run into some chill blåhaj people here
I mean I have met many chill lemmy.ml, lemmygrad and hexbear users. They’re just a pain when you talk about their specific topics. The same applies to blahaj users. The main issue is ada, the instance admin of blahaj
You’re other with them or a tankie.
What?
I wouldn’t say “the left” but biphobia is absolutely insane among non traitor lunatics.
biphobia is prevalent even among gays and lesbians. It sucks.
Absolutely. My wife was bisexual and many lesbians wanted nothing to do with her.
but it’s a good thing if it happened when she was your wife (if you’re exclusive ofc)
You wouldn’t believe how many progressive women only date stereotypically conservative men. Here is a metanalysis of five studies showing how women in general prefer men who espouse and act out “benevolent sexism.” This is the age old problem for men: women say they want one thing, but date something completely different.
Fortunately for me, in the dating arena, being honest about myself to a fault did a great job vetting dates all on its own.
Anon wants that BUSSY without social stigmas. Based and gay.
i do wild shit to make the girls im dating lose attraction for me all the time. burping really loud constantly, saying the word “COCKS” when i sneeze, crying about wall-e, shitting with the door open. who cares?
There’s a streamer who I use to follow. Use to because she slowly went alt right. Anyway, one of her hangups with partners was refusing to date any man she suspected of being bi because she didn’t want a penis that was up an ass in her. She also believes that most men are bisexual. She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.
Easy solution, only date bottoms
bi-/homophobic steamer went alt right you say?
sounds like she didn’t really “go” alt right as much as she came out as alt right. phrasing intended.
Her pronouns became alt/right you say?
True, but that’s semantics and I wasn’t going to write an essay on my phone.
wasn’t intended as a rebuttal
She also believes that most men are bisexual.
It’s funny, because I see so much bi-erasure among gay friends. The idea that every dude is a 6 on the Kinsey Scale and just suffering through straight sex because they don’t know any better is stubbornly resilient.
I mean, yeah. Most men are probably somewhat bi, but the idea that most men will seek out other men or even admit to not being repulsed by other men is laughable.
I remember back in highschool, a guy being so defensive, he wouldn’t even describe what another guy looked like. I’m a straight guy, but I don’t have any issues being able to describe another guy as conventionally attractive.
I have no issues acknowledging a conventionally attractive guy, I do however seem to have absolutely no notion of what this actually looks like. I know by dint of existing in the 21st century that Brad Pitt, George Clooney etc are considered attractive, but for the life of me I couldn’t take that knowledge and apply it to someone else. I can spot an egregiously “unattractive” dude, but there’s a very broad spectrum of men that just look like “blokes” to me.
This was the 2000’s and I just used “wouldn’t look out of place in as a magazine model”, which while is a high standard, still has a lot of variety.
Do the men she fucks not wash their junk?
Some homophobes think touching their own genitals would be homosexual, so they don’t wash them.
This is one of those things that I see mentioned now and then (and I feel like at some point, someone was able to back it up maybe?), but my brain just refuses to accept that it’s real. It just… cannot be real. No. I refuse.
Used to, not use to
She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.
You mean the ones who’re in the closet?
Please don’t equivocate homophobia with closeted homosexuality.
There are tons of homophobes who aren’t in the closet, and tons of gay guys in the closet who aren’t homophobic. Not to mention that using this as an ‘attack’ toward a homophobe is literally using gay as an insult, which is the same thing homophobes do.
It does gay people no good.
This is how she encounters so many closeted gay men.
So, she refuses anal… does she also refuse oral?
I know she makes her boy friends buy new sex toys cause instead of reusing one from previous partners. Honestly, anyone who would actually get with her deserves everything.
ehh… Sex toys are kind of a private and personal thing. I’m all for resusing and that, but I also wouldn’t expect someone to reuse my old partners underwear, or toothbrush.
Maybe, but I feel like if you’re going to be that way, maybe bring your own instead of making your partner buy new ones.
how does she feel about her ass being penetrated her or penetrating a guy’s ass?
The less I know about her opinions on sex, the better. She seemed to believe any outrageous sex act was more common than it probably was and decry the loss of common sense.
Did her streamer name coincidentally have something to do with 👟⬇️👨?
No. Cherries is my only hint.
Ah yes, the gacha nazi and TERF activist with the weird rape fantasies. God, most Vtubers really are a bunch of scum!
Good on you for not falling into that trap
She’s really the exception as far as vtubers go. Lots of trans and allies in that sphere. Being able to use a digital avatar to represent yourself lends itself to trans people.
She use to be fun to watch, but that’s about 2 years ago at this point.
deleted by creator
Jim Jeffries talked about this topic in his new Netflix special that came out last week.
Fun fact: back in Roman times, it was manly to fuck a twink. Being fucked by another man made you a woman (in their eyes, women were inferior in every aspect). I suppose something similar happened in Greece for a good while
I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don’t know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don’t have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the ‘cheating’ risk doesn’t feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don’t know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
It’s also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is ‘hot’.
The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it’s a heinous act.
Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
What makes this statement even more horrifying is that more and more evidence is emerging that - like with cross-gender rape between adults - rates of pedophilia in the general population seems to be about 50/50 between the genders.
As in, it is equally as likely for a child to be preyed upon by a woman as a man.
And society doesn’t give two shits about female pedophiles or their victims. Hell, if the pedophile gets pregnant, the government will even gleefully re-victimize the victim on a monthly basis the moment he hits legal adulthood by forcing him to pay child support to his rapist.
Now, for the purest example of anti-male gender bigotry, examine the fury and outrage if the genders were reversed.
Seriously, if a female pedo gets pregnant by her victim, that child needs to be taken away from her and put up for adoption. No way a young victim should be held responsible because that bitch raped him.
Sorry, female pedos are as repulsive and degenerate as male pedos. All the stories of kiddie diddlers that are female teachers or nannies make me ill and inspire violence (which I refrain from) but they deserve to be locked up…for good.
Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment.
Oh boy is that a land-mine I’ve stepped on.
A real, “wait I don’t understand what do you mean you’re in love with her?” moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which… hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.
So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I’d rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks – I do not keep them at home. I can’t have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would “choose” not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
Maybe it works, I wouldn’t build a relationship on this principle though
I wouldn’t date snacks either but i’m sure someone got offended by this remark. Weird times.
?
Um, no. I am an old Xer lady and we know men can be bi too. And like the ladies… sexuality is on a continuum. Some people just love to canoodle with young beautiful bodies no matter what flavor… and as we get older, old beautiful kind considerate people.
Bi men here, progressive women are not like that. Only “progressive” (read: plays lip service to some popular cause, until it’s popular, often are TERFs etc.) do that, and you just need to skip on them, for more than one reason. I almost dated one, she turned out to be a “progressive” anti-abortionist, because “babies are people too”, and “you can just use contraception”.
This is comment is proof the LGBT people can lie too… “Its not the good ones, only the evil ones”.
Meanwhile, almost every other guy in the world that admits to sucking a cock even once and hes kicked out of the “youre so hot” gang forever by some progressive women. And no, its not just the ones its ok to hate cos social media said so.
Found the incel.
Found the reddit user with nothing to offer the conversation but personal attacks and dogshit takes.
> uses “reddit user” as a slur
Not beating the incel allegations with that.
They ruined a perfectly good bum when they put teeth in your mouth.
They’re fucking all over this thread.
Have blocked some of them, because they’re not the kind that you can debate with.
Let’s not “no true scotsman” this, that only leads to madness.
