I’ll try and minimize personal info in this post so that it’s harder to dox me. I am a cishet white man without any romantic experience who is interested in trying online dating. I know that resources about doing this exist, but I don’t know how to find them without getting PUA or other harmful advice mixed in.

What do I need to know/do/have before I try this?

Which apps should I use?

Are there guides that give relatively simple information on how to avoid harmful situations with online and not online dating?

Thanks for the advice stalin-heart

  • insurgentrat [she/her, it/its]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    3 months ago

    Even years ago when they were less bad I (trans, bi) found the apps good for flings and bad for relationships.

    I would say, if you’re doing any dating, most dates won’t end in anything lasting. If you don’t enjoy the process of dating you are going to have a bad time. Even when it’s going well it’s full of just not clicking, awkward bores, and creepy weirdos. To even get to the point that you’re talking to someone involves a lot of rejections.

    If you are trying to get dating over and done with then you are going to get very frustrated and possibly very bitter.

    So just… try to enjoy it. I know that sounds ridiculous but like don’t burn yourself out sending greetings, stop when it sucks. Don’t try keep conversations going with someone who sucks at them or isn’t feeling it cause you’ll get hurt. Say hi to people (not literally just “hi”), enjoy a chance to see people from different slices of life and find out a bit about them. If something doesn’t go where you want it try to focus on the bits you did enjoy and don’t beat yourself up.

    You walk past thousands of people every day without making a connection, you don’t wish those people ill you’ve just got your own life going on. Don’t take disinterest in you personally and don’t be cruel to people you’re disinterested in.