Well, I finally had my first time being somewhat directly confronted with transphobia.
The background story is the following: So I made a meme (in another lemmy community) about a relatively unpleasant interaction I had with my parents ( I told them that I wanted to change my legal gender and they were not amused about that at all and said I should wait with it, they said I should also wait with hormones until I finished my degree for whatever reason) and someone decided to comment something about me being trans being a failure of my parents. I of course replied to it and several other other people were quite eager to roast him for this complete shit take. This ended up in him spitting a god awful amount of obvious transphobia. He called us a trend, a cult and us being trans a result of social media. He also cheered for “the reversal of the trans trend” and of course had to bring the children into it again. I would call myself not that sensitive and quite resilient to insults and similar stuff, but at some point I realized, that I have to stop the bullshit he wrote, because it definitely impacted my mood. Luckily it did not caused dysphoria, but It made me feel quite shit. He did ended up getting banned (obviously) and I am quite happy for that, since I have absolutely zero interest in Interacting with this fact resilient asshole ever again, but it was awful, even tho it was “just” my identity getting denied (and not stuff like direct threads or insults) and through the internet, but it definitely showed me, that I 100% do not want to repeat something similar in real life.
edit: One good thing was, that there were plenty of people roasting him and standing against the bullshit he said. As everyone says, allys are 100% needed, because i would not have had the energy and will to constantly push back against his bullshit.
Edit 2: Aaaaaaand here comes the Dysphoria…
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Let’s just embrace it, we are a cult now. This means we need sacrifices!
The only question now is, are we gonna pick this guy or JK Rowling first to sacrifice
Also I’m sure someone else has told you that already but don’t wait for estrogen or a name change until anything. The faster you get it done, the happier you will be
if we’re a cult now can i be the goat that gets its throat slit? :v
The thing i dont get, is why can’t people let people live their damn lives.
It makes conservatives short circuit when I ask them this question. They literally cant fathom empathy. Hell its not even empathy, its just allowing someone to exist. Its literally the easiest possible thing.
I feel for you friend and im sorry you had to go through that. Fuck those people.
I asked him the same question and he went on a rant about how we are making the kids trans…
Well conservatives are making the kids dead with school shootings so which one is better? Also let’s look at the stats of Trans people vs right wing psychopaths.
Sadly they dont listen to logic. Otherwise they wouldn’t be nazis.
you can’t make a cis kid trans, and you can’t make a trans kid cis - it’s just sheer ignorance
Equality feels like oppression to those used to privilege.
Hugs. Transphobia sucks. Online, I think it helps to report, block and ignore them. There it does work well. A community with good moderation is worth ten bad forums or social mediums.
In real life what I usually did, is;
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if appearing in good faith, civil, just confused; explain kindly, have patience. If they do get annoying then, smile, ask to end it there and leave if possible.
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if appearing harassing/annoying and it’s in public, loudly ask to keep themselves to their own affairs and not be a creep
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if alone, and/or they get physicaly threatening/intimidating; pepper spray or whatever else you can do to protect yourself.
When someone says that it’s a failure of parenting, they say that in bad faith.
Keep in mind; it’s not your responsibility to tell them who you are. It’s on them to not be an ass!
- If someone is making a crass joke, innocently state that you don’t understand and ask them to explain, then ask what it is that makes it funny.
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Just writing this post made it 10x worse. Guess there goes my evening…
Part of the process is airing it out. We appreciate you sharing this even though it’s painful.
Sometimes it’s best to just block the hater and move on. It’s not always easy to do, especially in the moment after they’ve gotten under your skin. But if it’s detrimental to your mental state to engage with them then they’re not worth your time and attention. You don’t need to prove anything to them.
He called us a trend, a cult and us being trans a result of social media.
It’s so fucking bizarre to spend as much time as I do on the internet and come to the conclusion that someone’s egg cracked because people were being too nice to a minority.
If you’re a deep-fried Christian and you genuinely believe every other philosophy or ideology outside your own is a cult then… idk, sure. If you want to claim that the transgender community is finally getting enough positive attention to be more than a punchline at the end of an SNL skit, and this constitutes a “trend”? Idk how you square that with Stonewall, much less Dora Richter, but okay whatever. I guess you can argue its “trending”.
But coming at someone who had to break through so many glass ceilings to even question their gender, much less pull the cord on hormone therapy. It feels like you’re trying to argue a caterpillar out of becoming a butterfly.
It really sucks and the worst part is that it can hit you in the worst ways. Transphobes have a wide range with their nonsense. You get comfortable with debunking one and they hit you with another. It sucks. Seek out good people wherever you can :)
I know this is cliche but I swear it’s true, bigots truly just hate themselves and they’re furious you’re brave enough to be you! Fuck them, you’re awesome, stay brave and beautiful!
Yiiiiikkkkesssss, best of luck with that. Sorry that people are so shitty.
