We’re not defederating from lemmy.ml. If you want to discuss in the instance’s communities, do so at you own responsibility.
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief. “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t. “Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.” The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency
It is quite likely communist tankie North Korean hackers stole the bitcoin, time to ban their ideology and invest in South Korean Nukes.
Some people on ML are nuts but OP is a nutjob too so 🤷♂️
I believe in free markets and the principle of Adam Smith. .ml Tankies would ban me for that, but at least I am free here. The Free market will save us, as it saved western europe and the USA and made them the richest on earth.
It’s not their Marxism or communism that’s evil. It’s their Stalin worshipping and Putin / Xi / Kim bootlicking that’s just plain sad.
I mean it’s literally in the tld .ml Marxist-Leninist which actually just is Stalinism because it has next to nothing to do with Marx or Lenin’s ideas
Free market capitalism is the only solution to the worlds problems. Marxist Leninist ideas should be banned, we see what it leads to in China.
Equally shit take
Sorry new rules dropped: you have to choose between being a genocidal tankie or a genocidal ultracapitalist. Nuanced worldviews will get even less respect than our arch-enemies
Genocidal ultra capitalists do not exist. Human live is way to valuable for capitalists, as they need more skilled labor. All genocides are made by Communists:
- Nazi germany was socialist, so communist genocide
- Holdomor, communist genocide
- Tibet genocide, communist genocide
- Hamas October 7th, communist genocide
Nazi germany was socialist
It was about as socialist as North Korea is democratic.
Ah yes, the 4 Genocides. That’s all of 'em. All 4.
yes. I forgot
- russian genocide during winter war in Finland, communist.
You do know that one of the main parts of nazi ideology was hating communists? One of the first things they did was ban the communist party. Hitler said in multiple speeches that the nazi “socialism” was superior because it didn’t have the communist chaos that the Marxist/social democrat had. He also said that what he means with socialism is social services. Saying that national socialism is communism is the most brain thing I’ve heard in a while
Also, your argument is stupid because let’s say that a different nation doesn’t want to trade with you but you want their recourses. You now have a profit incentive to bomb their people to extinction
Capitalism has brought you the keyboard you type this on, while you defame it.
Wow mind-blowing! This convinced me, I am on my way to buy ExxonMobil shares
Also I recommend to buy Lockheed Martin market stocks. So they can defend your freedom against terrorist Iran/Hamas/Hesbolla/Huthi and communist China.
Thanks! Can I tip you?
Yes, here is my Monero address
41taVyY6e1xApqKyMVDRVxJ76sPkfZhALLTjRvVKpaAh2pBd4wv9RgYj1tSPrx8wc6iE1uWUfjtQdTmTy2FGMeChGVKPQuVor Bitcoin address:
1Hefs7miXS5ff5Ck5xvmjKjXf5242KzRtKSend me the crypto tip pls
Pretty sure it was passionate engineers, not the system under which they were forced to sell their labor.
you can not “sell your labor” under communism. As without private property concepts like selling and buying do not exist.
You do know that private property refers to factory’s not your toothbrush? Without private property you can still sell personal property
Communists will take your personal property and deport you to Gulag. This is why their marxist .ml ideas ideas need to be banned.
Agreed, that would be a great improvement.
Way to expose yourself as a clueless moron in one comment.
The free market allows you to write this text in the capitalist invention of the internet. Communist CHina can not invent or build something like that.
ideas should be banned
Explicit endorsement of making it criminal to have certain thoughts
Also they support the Venezuelan communist dictator Maduro and Iranian theocratic terrorist regime
