Anyone who is going through this, you have to try. You have to put effort into yourself and get used to rejection. It’s not fun but if it’s important to you then it’s important to show up.
I didn’t have my first kiss until 26. I have a wife and two kids. Just so you don’t think it was easy for me.
I spent my whole life being told to not be a creep, don’t just go up to women they don’t want random men approaching them, they’re at the club for a good time with friends, etc.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
From my experience online dating (as a man) is a complete waste of time. In about one year I got like 10 matches at Max and half of those didnt even had any form of somewhat decent communication.
I did put quite some effort into my profile but it didnt help anything.
Now since I switched sides I have gotten more likes in a single week than I got in a whole year just because I switched from male to female. I Am pre everything, so I dont even look remotely feminine and most of my pictures are kinda ass, but I dont really bother to make some good ones.
From my experience online dating as a man is either hit or miss. A friend of mine had luck with it several times, but at least for me online dating was the biggest waste of time of my life.
Been doing it for a few months now and no matches. Rejected 4 times in real life. Also, because of other preconditions my capacity for social interaction is very limited.
I hate when people say “just put in some effort”. I’m doing it, I’m giving it all I have but I did so for about 10 years now and I got nothing. I don’t hate the people that rejected me but this can’t be normal, and I’m not the only one.
I’m happy for people where it works out but I feel immense pain knowing I’m back to square one for the 4th time. And let’s not kid ourselves, 10 years going by doesn’t exactly make me more attractive.
So don’t be a creep, meet people as they are, don’t meet people expecting them to have sex with you
Work on yourself, go to therapy, get a hobby or read a book, join a reading group.
You have to be a part of a community to meet people. You can’t just hang out on the internet posting about how unfair it all is, and expect anything to magically change
Online dating has also been poisoned by creepy dudes. A lady I matched to on Bumble told me that when she matched to some guy and when the dude realized they lived close enough, he wanted to have a quick one night stand with her. Now, this dude was supposedly a surgeon. So, it makes things difficult for all of us, who are looking for something more stable and long term.
I find it hard to find people though. I do my regular activity and hobbies and go about my life, I make friends but they’re mostly guys. I’m also not the type to ask every cute girl out. Idk, I still got one more year at school so maybe something will happen
That’s just not true. Get a hobby. There are tons of people doing activities all the time in groups all over the world. Climbing, painting, sewing, there’s hundreds of thousands of activities you can do and people in every one of those groups.
Can confirm. I met both of my girlfriends (sequential, not parallel) at meetups for a certain online community. And I wasn’t even looking; it happened organically.
Turns out that if you go where people are basically guaranteed to share at least some of your interests, it becomes much easier to find someone you gel with.
Protip: Don’t go looking to find a partner, try to make friends. If one of those friends ends up dating you, so much the better. If none do, you still made friends and that goes a long way already.
Personally, I found work to also be an avenue to meet friends. You already share so much time together, it’s easy to build routines and find some common interests over time. There is less risk that in other settings, so if you don’t immediately click it’s no big deal and everybody likes a mildly positive and extrovert coworker (emphasis on mildly: either you strike up a conversation or you shield them from having to take part in one). Then friends of friends is the way to expand the circle
Anyone who is going through this, you have to try. You have to put effort into yourself and get used to rejection. It’s not fun but if it’s important to you then it’s important to show up.
I didn’t have my first kiss until 26. I have a wife and two kids. Just so you don’t think it was easy for me.
Can’t.
I spent my whole life being told to not be a creep, don’t just go up to women they don’t want random men approaching them, they’re at the club for a good time with friends, etc.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
Play a sport that involves girls. Met many ladies by being above average at badminton. Does require some discipline to get gud first
You’ve reduced your options to online dating or hooking up with club girls. I’d start by expanding those options.
Bullshit. That’s just toxic internet culture talking. You may have to put some effort in your profile, but it worked for me and I’m a 6 at best.
From my experience online dating (as a man) is a complete waste of time. In about one year I got like 10 matches at Max and half of those didnt even had any form of somewhat decent communication.
I did put quite some effort into my profile but it didnt help anything.
Now since I switched sides I have gotten more likes in a single week than I got in a whole year just because I switched from male to female. I Am pre everything, so I dont even look remotely feminine and most of my pictures are kinda ass, but I dont really bother to make some good ones.
From my experience online dating as a man is either hit or miss. A friend of mine had luck with it several times, but at least for me online dating was the biggest waste of time of my life.
Been doing it for a few months now and no matches. Rejected 4 times in real life. Also, because of other preconditions my capacity for social interaction is very limited.
I hate when people say “just put in some effort”. I’m doing it, I’m giving it all I have but I did so for about 10 years now and I got nothing. I don’t hate the people that rejected me but this can’t be normal, and I’m not the only one.
I’m happy for people where it works out but I feel immense pain knowing I’m back to square one for the 4th time. And let’s not kid ourselves, 10 years going by doesn’t exactly make me more attractive.
I had about 3 matches per year. I married one of them. Been together for almost 7 years now.
How do you even know you are 6 at best?
So don’t be a creep, meet people as they are, don’t meet people expecting them to have sex with you
Work on yourself, go to therapy, get a hobby or read a book, join a reading group.
You have to be a part of a community to meet people. You can’t just hang out on the internet posting about how unfair it all is, and expect anything to magically change
take care
Online dating has also been poisoned by creepy dudes. A lady I matched to on Bumble told me that when she matched to some guy and when the dude realized they lived close enough, he wanted to have a quick one night stand with her. Now, this dude was supposedly a surgeon. So, it makes things difficult for all of us, who are looking for something more stable and long term.
I find it hard to find people though. I do my regular activity and hobbies and go about my life, I make friends but they’re mostly guys. I’m also not the type to ask every cute girl out. Idk, I still got one more year at school so maybe something will happen
School is a great place to meet people organically. Talk to your class mates. Even if they’re not a girl you want to talk to maybe they know someone.
Outside of school sadly dating apps are the only way to meet people. And they’re not good.
That’s just not true. Get a hobby. There are tons of people doing activities all the time in groups all over the world. Climbing, painting, sewing, there’s hundreds of thousands of activities you can do and people in every one of those groups.
Can confirm. I met both of my girlfriends (sequential, not parallel) at meetups for a certain online community. And I wasn’t even looking; it happened organically.
Turns out that if you go where people are basically guaranteed to share at least some of your interests, it becomes much easier to find someone you gel with.
Protip: Don’t go looking to find a partner, try to make friends. If one of those friends ends up dating you, so much the better. If none do, you still made friends and that goes a long way already.
This is the key.
Personally, I found work to also be an avenue to meet friends. You already share so much time together, it’s easy to build routines and find some common interests over time. There is less risk that in other settings, so if you don’t immediately click it’s no big deal and everybody likes a mildly positive and extrovert coworker (emphasis on mildly: either you strike up a conversation or you shield them from having to take part in one). Then friends of friends is the way to expand the circle
be the change you want to see in the world, and yourself
yea but have you done the sex?
Idk about you all, but I do the sex SO often, I have an entire drawer full of magnum condoms because I use them so often I need a stockpile
how did you meet?