Putting on black nail polish used to be the highlight of my week in the early days of transition and way before I came out. I was never good at it, but I liked how it looked on me and it felt like a way to get control back in my life in one of the few ways that I could.

Now HRT has done some pretty nice things to me after three years and I don’t feel as connected to nail polish, and everything I didn’t like about it feels much more of a pain. Like that it’s expensive, that it can be a mess, and after a decade, I still always miss my nail bed and get paint on my skin.

I do still like taking care of my nails. I enjoy filing the shape just right and exfoliating them and moisturizing to keep them healthy. That’s all fine.

But then I get the intrusive thoughts that I’m not femme enough or not alt enough if I don’t wear black nail polish. Of course, I know that’s not true, but it is what my brain tells me. So that’s kind of where I’m at.

  • Washedupcynic@lemmy.caEnglish
    26·
    11 days ago

    Sis, liking something, or not liking something doesn’t have anything to do with your gender or gender perception. If you decide you’re not feeling painting your nails that’s how you roll. If someone tells you that you aren’t fem enough because your nails aren’t done, I hope you turn around and tell them that they can have an opinion about your nails when they are paying for the polish.

    I’m not trans, but I am a cis-woman/lesbian. When I was a teenager I was always told I wansn’t gay enough because I wasn’t listening to Melissa Ethridge, or dressing a certain way. Those same people weren’t buying my music or my clothes, and their opinions mean even less to me as an adult.

    We grow over time. Our likes and interests can change, and that is just life. (Although I get for you that the nail painting thing was a way you felt connected to your gender, but as you have grown, you have likely found lots of additional things that make you feel connected to your gender.)

    If you are a woman, you are a woman, cis/trans doesn’t matter. You should be a woman in the ways that make you happy. If that means no nail polish, then you are a woman that’s not interested in nail polish. You’re as much a woman in a dress and heels as you are in slacks and flats. Live your truth, and tell the haters that they can have an opinion when they are in a position to finance your life.

    Good luck sis.