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Cell phone camera erect and poking out of its phussy lips.
Parting the phlabia so I can use the “checking oil” gesture to access the control center.
Wait this is real? I saw this somewhere else and thought it was someone making fun of apple
Edit: holy shit it is
When I first saw this I thought it was the onion.
nice let’s see paul allen’s phone case. Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God.
oh my god, it’s even future compatible with next gen iPhones
How are you even supposed to wear it?
Ideally with lighting that prevents anyone from finding out who you are, apparently.
Looks even dorkier than a belt clip phone holster.
It’s important to me that apple users put their thousand dollar phones in brightly colored, fragile crochet bags and go into crowded areas with them
I think it looks kinda cool like a cop or gangster’s concealed carry handgun holster in some period movie.
Ideally with lighting that prevents anyone from finding out who you are, apparently.
fucking hilarious
Like the cross body bags we were all wearing in 2018 sans 90% of their utility lol
This has the same energy as 90s bumbags.
I’d beat my own ass
like a sock
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And it’s just to hold your phone, can’t put junk in there like a wallet or a gun.
Like a wallet or a what?
School supplies.
Class Is Over.
And how
Travel sized tactical katana.
You’re not from around these parts, are you?
I think Americans call them school supplies, and militant tankies call them revolution supplies.
off-body carry is sus
It’s just the ipod socks again except prohibitively expensive
iPhone poop sock
Actually might be pretty handy as a poop sock since you can tie it around your waist and go hands free during the WoW raid.
Missing raid planning because you’re AFK to get fried chicken is the opposite of poopsocking
The $5 Chinese made version of this will be completely indistinguishable to the official version.
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No prominent branding or special features, how are people going to know I bought the real one instead of one of the perfect-to-the-stitch copies on temu for $1.59 shipped to your door thanks to the inexhaustible productive forces of Socialism with Chinese Characteristics
Apple’s clearly trying to see how far they can push their cultists.
breeding
“iPhone keep getting lost in your purse?” sad trombone “Can’t fit the pro in your pocket?” loud buzzer noise “Well all NEW from Apple! It’s the iPhone Sock!” cool kids with sunglasses look into the camera WOOOOAAAAHHHH
“That’s right! It’s a sock! AND a bag! AND a holder for your cool new iPhone 17 X Pro Air! Comes in these 9 wacky colors!” sparkle noise “Wear it around your arm, your shoulder , your wrist, you can even put it around your neck like a cool necklace! Go get yours today!”
AS SEEN ON TV
featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry Series
How many of these could one make from a yard of linen?
I didn’t notice the price at first.
What is that, $226 of profit after materials and labor?
making the choice right now to make fun of the first person I see with one of these.
THis the sort of shit archeologists will dig up and wonder what the fuck it was for
they’ll theorize that it was some kind of religious penis pouch
Eh, old hat. They’re just muscling into the luxury bag market where other luxury brands get the bourgeoisie and “influencers” to shell out $5k for a $200 handbag with a brand name metal plate on it. I mean if even “middle class” women can be convinced to shell out $500 for a Steve Madden bag then Apple can find some profit here. I have to say these do seem tailor made in many ways for teenagers who want to appear well off to their peers and who might scrape together enough birthday and Christmas money for these.
I don’t know, if this and other ways of soaking the rich and posers who need to waste money on luxury branding for appearances keeps iPhone prices and such steady and lets Apple make line go up I’m for it out of self-interest as someone who doesn’t want to spend more on smart devices (and if Apple raises prices Google and Samsung will happily follow). Because the alternative is either cost increases for the products which hit normal people trying to get by or more privacy invasion and monetizing data to make money.
Fact is in late stage capitalism we’re already at the point where a majority of profit in consumer spending comes from a minority of bourgeoisie, PMC, etc types while the rest struggle so things like this should become even more common.
spoiler
“jUsT bUy An AnDrOiD”
Either are valid choices. But let me point out some things:
Not any cheaper for any decent flagship phone, often more in fact for Samsung. Don’t last any longer, used to last a lot shorter with fewer years of support but better now. Out of the box less privacy and the only way you get real privacy is by installing alt OSes which only work decent on a couple of flagship series and are likely to drop support for those anyways in the near term because of Google locking things down even more and taking away the last crumbs of alleged freedom compared to iPhones because there’s no more market share to grab and no point in not doing so at the behest of the NSA/CIA/Five-eyes and their own monetizing of data and preventing app piracy. With Graphene set to launch their own phone maybe they’ll be a real competitor but probably not on price as you’ll probably pay $200-$400 more for the base model compared to the base model for a non-pro iPhone. I also think while Apple is certainly NSL compelled and probably has backdoors Google is the devil itself, funded with NSA/In-Q-Tel money from the very start, in bed with western natsec state from the very start, directly abets and profits off of the zionist genocide, buys and maintains facilities and divisions in pissrael, etc. No ethical consumption under capitalism obviously but Apple looks somewhat less evil than Google from where I am and at least slightly less of a threat especially on the AI privacy front. Their real rip-offs are things like this, accessories, dongles, and higher specced versions of their computers where they charge you an extra $1600 for $500 more of RAM to get to 128GB on a system while Windows system builders charge only $900.
