• KernelTale@programming.devOP
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    2 months ago

    yep, I tried E for 6 weeks (happy with the permanent changes) and stop because my mood was swinging (still is) too often for me to make a such permanent decision. Now is 2nd month since pausing and I do feel like shit.

    • Kate-ay@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Been toying with the idea of an E trial period. What kind of permanent changes occurred after 6 weeks?

      🫂 Best of luck figuring things out

      • KernelTale@programming.devOP
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        2 months ago

        Easy to hide breast buds. I wouldn’t really recommend it. I didn’t really have dysphoria until then. I just wanted to look more feminine and it would be easier for me to wear what I want. Now I have biochemical dysphoria and even though I like my body more I have a hard time figuring out my goals. Use it as a reassurance that it is what you want, not to find out. Also the mental recoil of pausing for the next month or even longer can be extremely severe and in my case even suicidal.

        • Kate-ay@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Sorry you’re going through that. You’ve got this 🫂.

          I know what I want but what I struggle with is whether I want it badly enough to blow up my life. A friend who has fully transitioned raves about the positive mental changes from E and that’s what I’ve wanted to experience even more than physical changes.

      • KernelTale@programming.devOP
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        2 months ago

        I kind of cannot imagine what I would look like. I would take all of those changes to a degree but I don’t hate my current looks. My head is still swinging with this question and every time I try to give up I just can’t. Estrogen makes me feel alive, pausing E made me feel like dying inside, and now I cry without knowing why.

        • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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          2 months ago

          Estrogen makes me feel alive, pausing E made me feel like dying inside

          Your body’s telling you its answer - take your time deciding whether you agree <3

        • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 months ago

          Would you like your looks less if you went on hrt full-time?

          I feel like I should also mention that most changes from 6 weeks on hrt will completely reverse given enough time. You generally need several months to half a year for there to be irreversible changes.

          • KernelTale@programming.devOP
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            2 months ago

            My body is very sensitive to estrogen. The breast tissue I have is a real is a real tissue and not just water or fat.

              • KernelTale@programming.devOP
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                2 months ago

                oh I would if I felt certain. If I could like right now permanently get easily bindable breasts I would take it. Personal and I like the feeling of rolling in bed and feeling the tissue kind of stretch. It’s a personal part of me making me feel fem, so I doubt I would dislike them if they got bigger but hideable. It’s really just that it’s permanent and my mood keeps swinging between certainty and self doubt. In one swing I inject E in another I destroyed my syringes as it was the only way to not take it during swings.

        • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          You can’t know for sure what you’ll look like post-transition, but you already know that estrogen will make you feel better in general. So really it’s just a question of what you value more, how you look or how you feel?