WASHINGTON — In a stunning instance of miscommunication between departments, ICE agents have deported Venezuelan dictator Nicolás Maduro back to Venezuela just hours after he was abducted by the DEA. “ICE is simply doing its job and keeping America safe,” said a defensive Kristi Noem when reached for comment. “I don’t know how the liberal media is trying to spin this, but Maduro is a bad hombre. He is a dangerous man, has known ties to drug cartels, and has absolutely no legal right to be in the United States. Adios, buster!” The move has been met with strong criticism from the rest of Trump’s cabinet, most vocally from RFK, who reportedly had high hopes that Maduro could “Hook it up with some Molly.”

WASHINGTON — In a stunning instance of miscommunication between departments, ICE agents have deported Venezuelan dictator Nicolás Maduro back to Venezuela just hours after he was abducted by the DEA.

“ICE is simply doing its job and keeping America safe from world leaders,” said a defensive Kristi Noem. “I don’t know how the liberal media is trying to spin this, but Maduro is a bad hombre. He is a dangerous man, has known ties to drug cartels, and has absolutely no legal right to be captured in the United States. Adios, buster!”

The move has been met with strong criticism from the rest of Trump’s cabinet, most vocally from RFK Jr., who reportedly had high hopes that Maduro could “Hook it up with some Molly.”

This is a breaking story, and we’ll have more as it develops.

    • oscardejarjayes [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      15·
      26 days ago

      It’s a really good bit, this is exactly the kind of thing I could imagine happening in a Trump admin obsessed with deportation numbers. They may well deport him at some point. Some racist right-wingers are mad that we brought non-White person into this country, one that will likely be living for quite a long time off of government supplies (prison, etc.).

    • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      26 days ago

      I looked it up on the internet and didn’t believe it initially because there wasn’t anything about it tbh but I misread the comments and the comment mentioning it as satire, I read as not satire something somethings… I was confused and have disabilities that make it hard to be clearheaded, coherent and read well (I feel a bit extra scatteer brained today) but then again a lot about America feels like a bit come true so now I am just embarrassed after finding out the truth about it and I guess I will just logout