It’s totally illogical, obviously if there’s something wrong with me I’d be better to know and get it treated, but I guess sometimes I feel like I’d prefer being in ignorant bliss of whatever happens to be killing me rather than know and have to go through a bunch of stressful shit to try and treat it. Honestly I think the anxiety of waiting is what kill me. If the doctor could just can me with a Star Trek thingy and be like “yeah you got terminal cancer” I’d probably handle it better than 5000 indeterminate tests that say I MAY have cancer.
Thankfully my doc is a nice guy. But yeah lo and behold I still got issues with hypertension and he’s not sure why since otherwise I’m seem in decent health for a guy my age.
Ugh, but now I got to get bloodwork and shit and I’m sure they’re gonna discover I have like super cancer or some shit.
Sorry wanted to vent.
I avoid going now unless it’s something that is really bothering me. Apart from how difficult it even is to get an appointment, I am sick of being over-treated. I am prescribed such a ridiculous amount of meds that I don’t even take most of them, I think most are unnecessary and they all have horrendous side effects. I had an actual stroke and developed heart problems because of the side effects of my cancer medication and that is just one example. Doctors just want to get rid of patients as quickly as possible so it’s “Here, take these pills, bye.” They hand out pills like sweets without a care for the effects they will have and usually don’t even know the side effects themselves, never mind warn the patients about them.