It’s totally illogical, obviously if there’s something wrong with me I’d be better to know and get it treated, but I guess sometimes I feel like I’d prefer being in ignorant bliss of whatever happens to be killing me rather than know and have to go through a bunch of stressful shit to try and treat it. Honestly I think the anxiety of waiting is what kill me. If the doctor could just can me with a Star Trek thingy and be like “yeah you got terminal cancer” I’d probably handle it better than 5000 indeterminate tests that say I MAY have cancer.
Thankfully my doc is a nice guy. But yeah lo and behold I still got issues with hypertension and he’s not sure why since otherwise I’m seem in decent health for a guy my age.
Ugh, but now I got to get bloodwork and shit and I’m sure they’re gonna discover I have like super cancer or some shit.
Sorry wanted to vent.
I avoid going now unless it’s something that is really bothering me. Apart from how difficult it even is to get an appointment, I am sick of being over-treated. I am prescribed such a ridiculous amount of meds that I don’t even take most of them, I think most are unnecessary and they all have horrendous side effects. I had an actual stroke and developed heart problems because of the side effects of my cancer medication and that is just one example. Doctors just want to get rid of patients as quickly as possible so it’s “Here, take these pills, bye.” They hand out pills like sweets without a care for the effects they will have and usually don’t even know the side effects themselves, never mind warn the patients about them.
The opposite situation is the one that crushes me. I got so dizzy all the time the year after I had covid and the doctors acted like I was crazy that I wasn’t relieved to hear them assure me my health was perfect. With anything not obviously visible I now get bad anxiety I won’t leave with a diagnosis.
Yeah, and sometimes you can just have a weird problem that even a good doctor can struggle to ID the cause of.
Having a frail human body sucks, why can’t I be a robot
If anyone reads this and it resonates with their experience, start looking into POTS and other related dysautonomic conditions.
POTS can have weird and transient symptoms, including primarily ones that present as mental health-related symptoms, and it can be tricky to diagnose for regular doctors. Cardiologists can figure it out really quickly with a good degree of certainty but it’s seriously overlooked and its existence is even denied by some doctors, despite all evidence to the contrary because dysautonomia gets the ME/CFS treatment despite plenty of evidence that indicates its existence. (I guess the biomarkers are just patients imagining them into existence).
Dysautonomic conditions like POTS involve the vascular system and COVID can have serious effects on it so post-COVID dysautonomia is quite common due to that fact.
Not a doctor, not a diagnosis. Just a tip for where to start looking.
Don’t worry too much about hypertension. Like a crazy number of people past 30 are on hypertension meds, which are still under-prescribed for the number that should be on hypertension meds. I’m on hypertension meds despite being an overexercised vegetarian. Hypertension meds are quite good and there are many many options if you react poorly to taking one.
Yeah I feel like everyone I know my age or older these days has hypertension. Funnily as I was leaving the office some nurse was taking another guys BP and I guess it was even higher than mine since she was asking him “are you feeling dizzy? Are you nauseous? Do you have a headache?” He was and older dude and was just like “it’s always been high lady.”
My doc is just worried cuz I’m already on meds and it’s still pretty high, but he did say some of that is white coat likely since he knows I get anxious at the doctor.
Definitely get a home blood pressure monitor (bicep cuff, not a shitty wrist cuff one). They go for $50-$80. Then you can measure consistently at home some time each day.
Likewise, the anxiety of it all just so painful and then I anxiously wait for a massive bill I cannot afford or will have to fight to get covered with one of the many demonic entities on earth: health insurance companies.
