I usually make a mutual aid post towards the end of the month. It usually asks for a supermarket gift card, with an email address to send it to. In January after making a mutual aid post, someone emailed me what gift card I need, and suggesting we go to a different website to talk. I thought it was a bit strange they were asking me what gift card I need when it was clearly stated in my post, but I sent them a link to the gift card site anyway. I also said I’d prefer to just communicate through email rather than signing up to some website I don’t know, also I’m not good with tech stuff and it looked complicated.
They said they were unable to do the supermarket gift card, it wasn’t working for them and asked if something else would be OK. I suggested amazon and they sent a £15 amazon gift card as a tester, saying if it worked they’d send one every month, up to £100 a month. It worked just fine but they never sent another. Over the next few days they sent multiple long emails about Australia, where they claim to live and emails asking again what gift cards I want.
Then for 10 days I heard nothing from them and thought they’d stopped. But then they started again, now asking for my address so they could send groceries to my door. But I didn’t feel comfortable giving my address to this particular person, something about them just seemed off. They also asked “send details on what i can do to help you,” even though by now I had told them multiple times that supermarket or amazon gift cards would help.
They said they could send a £50 justeat card but they never did. They said they could get another amazon card but never did. They then asked for my address again. Sometimes they’d send three emails in a day, always promising things. Much of the content in the emails was paragraphs and paragraphs about disabled people in Australia and sending me documentaries about them and asking if I’d watched them yet. They asked how much money I need per month to live on. Then they said “I will make sure to send a gift card in 24 hours.” Well, days passed and the gift card never arrived. Finally they sent an email saying they’d been unable to get the gift card as they’d spent their money booking a trip to the UK and Ireland and if I would give them my address they would come and visit me. They actually seemed to think I would be happy about this. Bear in mind I know nothing about this person, not their name, gender, anything.
Then they said they were already thinking about cancelling this trip they’d just paid for so they could stay in Australia, get a job and therefore “have more money to support you.” Honestly I was getting creeped out at this. It’s one thing for people with money to spare to help out, but a complete stranger getting a job with the intent of supporting me long term seems off, especially since they don’t ever come through. They even asked for my opinion on whether they should take the trip or get a job. I just said the weather is bad here and I’m not well enough for visitors. Which is true.
They didn’t respond for a week, but then started emailing me again, saying they’d cancelled their plans and again asking me what gift cards I need. I said, for the like fifth time, an amazon gift card would be fine as it worked on the test run. They didn’t respond for another two weeks. Then emailed me to say they had £200 for me and yet again asking me “what gift cards would you like?” I provided links to multiple gift cards sites with various different payment methods so surely something would work or they could just do amazon, but three days have passed again and no response.
This person is just teasing me aren’t they? I keep hoping they’re genuine and just busy but they said they don’t work, what can they be so busy with that they don’t respond for up to two weeks at a time? Why keep asking me over and over what gift cards I want. Why say they want to come and visit me when they don’t even know me.
This person sounds super sketch. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this crap, AGAIN. Why can’t people understand that gift cards work well and are totally anonymous!?
I think they never had any intention of helping now. I think the £15 test amazon gift card to see if it worked, was actually just meant to convince me they had genuine intentions of helping. This has been going on since january and it’s almost April now, there’s no reason it would take this long or why they would keep asking “What gift cards do you need?” When I’ve already answered that question 100 times.
I’d just drop contact with them
I will now. I had intended to previously, but you just can’t help hoping they’re genuine and will come through eventually.
I get that, but something sounds off or wrong with them. You don’t string someone on for months with promises of aid then drop in their lap you want to come visit them, halfway across the world no less.
Yes I do think so, also they way they type is very rambling with barely any punctuation. And it was weird how happy they thought I’d be that instead of sending the promised help, they’d booked a trip here instead.
Potentially dodged a bullet. Maybe you should report this person to the mods here or was it lemmy?
I’m not 100% sure but I think it might have been lemmy.
Saw your comment about this the other day. Fuck that person, block them already. Regardless of whether it’s being done maliciously or not, it’s bad for you to be on the receiving end of this behaviour. Cut your losses and block them already?
Yeah I will.
Sounds like someone who’s unwell, either because they’re being genuine and are somehow disconnected from reality or because they’re spending their free time harassing a disabled person they saw online, kf style
They aren’t the first to do this by a long shot, but they’ve kept going the longest by far.
I’m not going to psycho-analyse someone, but this person sounds a lot like how I acted when I had a major psychotic break when I was 18, just getting way too attached to someone who barely knew me and thinking we were really close, but I was just scaring them without realising.
As others have said, your best bet is to just try and explain to them that their behaviour is upsetting you and you don’t want them to talk to you anymore (and then blocking them). Getting assistance to survive shouldn’t require you to put up with something like this.
Thanks, if they write back maybe I’ll tell them their behaviour is upsetting.
