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sometimes dysphoric about face idk but sometimes not
8 days and im roungly a year on HRT

  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 days ago

    Thanks for the additional photos - I would say you’re solidly androgynous i.e. your sex is ambiguous. The short hair and brown shirt (and the picture where you jut your chin up & out) give cultural cues that you’re a boy. How your voice sounds would probably push someone one way or another, and how you dress will change how you are perceived. I can mostly see a girl in your first photos, and mostly a boy in these latter photos.

    I would suggest growing out your hair so it looks more feminine, ensuring your voice is feminine, and ensuring you keep testosterone thoroughly suppressed (and at minimum maybe look to eventually get an orchiectomy to guarantee a future free from the threat of testosterone).

    You’re doing great, and the fact you have avoided facial hair is huge. Protect yourself from male puberty - it is expensive to undo some of the effects, and impossible to undo other effects (like changes to your voice).

    • erin@quokk.auOP
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      5 days ago

      also if i somehow gain money for ffs in future which bones are clocky and i need to shave

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 days ago

        oh, I don’t have that level of expertise, lol - usually I think FFS involves changing the bones around the eyes, the eyebrow ridge, the jaw, and might include changes to hairline (I wish I could get my hairline fixed, ugh), and sometimes a nose job. The nose is technically aesthetic, but it’s still fair that it’s included in FFS because some women have noses that cause dysphoria because of how they developed under the presence of androgens (I hate my nose, tbh).

        Because you seem to have avoided male puberty, I think your face is going to pass long-term and you definitely won’t need FFS. I don’t notice a jutting eyebrow ridge or anything. Your chin and jaw are within cis female ranges I think.

        But I’m not an expert, though. Just seems to me like your face is good enough for passing, as evidenced by how well you pass in some of your photos already.

        Also, remember that most people will look at you and unconsciously categorize you as either male or female, and then they will unconsciously ignore anything that contradicts that - if you pass as a woman, people will just interpret the way you look as a woman, even if you can clock yourself by certain features.

        And remember cis people vary significantly in the way they look - there are cis women who are much more masculine than you (not that this makes your dysphoria any less, but in terms of knowing that with little effort you will be very secure in your passing and safety).

        • erin@quokk.auOP
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          4 days ago

          also i look up at photos pre-puberty puberty start

          my skull isnt changed at all

          even think im look better now than boy pre puberty

          only diffrence i see now that i weight gained and grow up a little bit

          so i really avoided male puberty coool, if i didnt get estro one year ago i think i ended with $uic*de because i was VERY DYSPHORIC in deep depression, and happy now (ignore brainworms im really happy)

    • erin@quokk.auOP
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      5 days ago

      yea my voice is naturally girly
      testosterone are near zero stable for 1yr
      estradiol - sometimes is waaay too high, ~200pg now, last bloodtest said 469 pg and i lowered back (should be 150+ pg, even 120 pg at lowest give me strong T suppression 0.64 nmol)

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      dont ask me why i cut hair but short also okay for now
      i want to grow out to chest and colour to idk what color

      on reddit ive never got detailed answer imstead i will got depressing “you re valid” “4tranner” (they think are only 4tran dysphoric about every mm l)

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 days ago

        those last three photos all I can see is a girl tbh, maybe the first photo has some androgynous qualities, but still totally see a girl (the hair really helps feminize the context)

        I definitely think growing the hair out, and taking care of it & styling it in a feminine way will significantly help passing.

        and yeah, I don’t know why trans communities struggle so much with honest feedback about passing; I’m not going to pretend my feedback or perspective is objective or how everyone will see you - I think we should all acknowledge that different people will see you different ways.

        But maybe I’m just a brain-wormed 4tranner 🙃

        Also, saying you’re valid in response to asking if you pass is so disturbing, like - non-passing people are valid too, it just has nothing to do with the context.