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ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 15 hours ago

shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

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shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 15 hours ago
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  • Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk
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    4 hours ago

    I used to work with someone who went for a shit 10 minutes into starting work. Took a full hour in the toliet. Then later would have his lunch for 30 minutes then go for another hour long shit

  • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 hours ago

    doggirl-lol that stock photo on the right

  • kambusha@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    How does it go? The boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That’s why I shit on company’s time.

  • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    11 hours ago

    Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

    I came across this evidence when inspecting homeless encampments which was also when I came to learn most of them fucking had jobs.

    Then covid came around and all the remote workers started blowing up their septic systems because they’d never been used so much and during the daytime.

    The sanitary overlap between tent cities and fancy farmhouses is much larger than you’d expect.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      10 hours ago

      Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

      I mean it’s where people spend a significant amount of their awake time and plenty of people start the workday at the coffee machine, with coffee being a notorious poop accelerant.

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    10 hours ago

    *shit

  • orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts
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    14 hours ago

    I work from home, mothafucka.

    Jim Carrey as The Mask saying ‘somebody stop me!’ to himself in the bathroom mirror

  • Apocalypteroid@anarchist.nexus
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    15 hours ago

    A paid poop is one of life’s simple pleasures

    • turtlesareneat@piefed.ca
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      12 hours ago

      Honestly a heated bidet is better. Now I’m not saying give up bathroom breaks - smoke a J in there, or go wander in a park for a while. But my bunghole only appears when there’s an oscillating jet of 100* water ready to blast it spotless.

  • ORbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    15 hours ago

    Why do people censor things?!

    • TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works
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      10 hours ago

      Seriously, it’s really pissing me off. Corporations already have way too much influence over tech and culture, why are we surrending more ground and self-censoring to appease them. These people need to find some self-respect and stop kowtowing to the algorithms.

    • axx@slrpnk.net
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      12 hours ago

      What i want to know is what he person who put a line through the word shit here thought they were achieving?

      It’s so entirely transparent and useless, what’s going through that person’s head?

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      14 hours ago

      Because the people who tell you to censor things are fucking annoying.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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        13 hours ago

        Can you edit out the fuck in your comment it sounds really aggressive.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          12 hours ago

          Only if you can fucking edit the fuck out of yours /s

          • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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            12 hours ago

            Don’t tell me what to do.

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              11 hours ago

              Only if you don’t.

        • daggermoon@piefed.world
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          13 hours ago

          I know you’re being sarcastic but it’s hilarious coming from someone with your username. Big fan of yours btw.

  • yellowfattybean [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    12 hours ago

    After 10 years of employment robbing me of autonomy over my bodily processes due to “the rush” and “the bell schedule”, I now get to poop when I need to. I’m with comrade leeroy, though. If I go more than once a day, I’m chafing and itching the rest of the day cuz of the barbaric paper they expect us to use

    • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      10 hours ago

      My work actually has pretty nice tp. In fact I steal some every day before I clock out. Haven’t bought a roll in almost a year lmao.

  • Squidious@lemmy.ml
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    14 hours ago

    Walk to the farthest toilet in the facility that you can. Preferably the one near HR or upper management.

  • downvote_hunter@midwest.social
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    14 hours ago

    Lady shit her panties or something? Who rubs the butt like that when they have to poop? I’m tightening the cheeks when I gotta do number two

    • Squidious@lemmy.ml
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      14 hours ago

      She waited too long, and now she is doing the duck walk of shame keeping it from touching cloth.

    • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 hours ago

      Oh no poop is coming out of my hip!!

    • ClassIsOver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      13 hours ago

      'rhoid rage.

    • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works
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      14 hours ago

      Prairie dogging on an inflamed hemorrhoid.

  • misterfenskers@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    Shit your pants and go home early

  • Zerush@lemmy.ml
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    14 hours ago

    Not longer my problem

  • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    15 hours ago

    Every “oh yeah just poop on company time” motherfucker just casually bragging about their platinum laced anus that can withstand being sandpapered to death by the world’s cheapest toilet paper (which should be banned btw)

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      14 hours ago

      Bring your own toilet paper. You’ll still make a profit

      • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        10 hours ago

        As I said in my other comment, my office actually stocks us with good enough tp I steal some almost every day for home. Haven’t paid for shit tape in almost a year now.

      • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        14 hours ago

        Im cool but i’m not so cool i can ignore hushed whispers of “that’s the guy… yea, brings his own tp, yea, weird shit”

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          11 hours ago

          I’ve brought my own TP for when I have to go into the office for… forever. If I can’t be home with my bidet, I’m already in nightmare shit land. Might as well have some small comfort in my soft paper with the wavy tear lines…

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            10 hours ago

            well, nobody says shit about you, you’re cool

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              10 hours ago

              Likewise, you’d be fine to indulge in the niceties of the shittiverse!

        • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          9 hours ago

          Bring a whole fresh pack of the good stuff to work and stock all the toilets. Do it once but never again.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          12 hours ago

          Fair nuff. Sounds like a personal battle!

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            12 hours ago

            every battle is a personal battle in a way, even a real battle, like, personally i wouldn’t be there

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              11 hours ago

              Lmao! I hope you have a good day

    • SpacePanda@mander.xyz
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      14 hours ago

      I bring wet wipes to work.

  • qkall@friendica.world
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    13 hours ago

    @sharkfucker420 i was known to poop on the clock so much folks would come find me to issue their questions.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      12 hours ago

      How many of those questions were about diet and laxative recommendations?

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