Every american I’ve met has been willing to kill for something, or willing to die for something.
But not a single one of them is willing to be inconvenienced in the slightest. That’s our sickness.
So i spent a long time ruminating on that and now i’m even more depressed than I was and shit is getting bad again. Sorry for the livejournal post, I haven’t made one in a while. Still around.
I was in a midwest convenience store a while ago. I asked the person at the register how her day was and she said, " oh, you know…" I hear a greeting happening behind me and someone responds to a similar question with “Livin the dream…”.
That experience will haunt me for the rest of my life. People are not doing ok. At this point dying for a purpose, any purpose, is the best they can imagine. But adding any amount of suffering to their lived experience is intolerable.
I asked the person at the register how her day was
as someone who has worked a counter and as a neurodivergent person please kill the impulse to do this with strangers and people who cannot give an honest answer
People arent going to forego basic pleasantries as a society. If we are going to fight alienation and build communities with the workers around us… we gotta talk to strangers.
somebody who doesn’t care about me asking how i’m doing doesn’t fight alienation
me lying to them as expected doesn’t fight alienation
committing the social faux pas of telling the truth doesn’t fight alienation, and it might get me fired.
Someone who does care asking fights alienation. Enough people behind the counter have picked up on the fact that i do and then later I catch some on their smoke break where they can speak more freely and things go from there. I know the people at my local stores as at least casual friends, we dont visit each other but we chit chat and have a rapport. I generally break the ice by complaining about my bullshit job I just got off to kinda indicate we’re on the same team. I’ve made quite a few friends over the counter and have gotten into a position where my setting them up with union organizers to get the ball rolling has gotten the goods. If someone is posting here, you can trust them with the truth and they are the people who should be asking. Building a rapport with the workers in your neighborhood is cool and good. To do so, you gotta express interest in their day. Despite the general rule about not being honest when asked that, it is a viable option. It comes in phrasing you can say ‘its been a rough one today’ and they’ll say ‘sorry to hear that. Hope the rest of the day goes better.’. They dont want details but its acceptable to say its been a bit of a crap day. Most other people work and understand having a bad day at work, its relatable af. And frankly, part of the job of cashier is human interaction and customers who want to avoid it are all about self checkout, which really helps corporations cut jobs. I wont apologize for or ‘kill the part of myself’ that wants to interact with the people around me. If that makes you uncomfortable then that is on you to deal with. You are making an incredibly unreasonable and unrealistic ask of the entirety of society to suit your comforts and there is a wide gap between that and society being ableist, sorry to say. A public facing job is going to involve idle chit chat. Under communism I would imagine you wouldnt have to do that kind of job and someone who is better socially could handle it. You cant just tell people not to interact with other people when those interactions make you uncomfortable, im sorry you’re in a position that they cant be avoided and that is a social issue. But people being friendly or polite isnt a social issue. Its just something thst makes you uncomfortable
you are not sufficiently critical of social norms. this is an ableism and accommodation thing.
the proscribed interaction i described is bullshit and there’s no room for what you want to do when it’s crowded out by the empty routine.
and maybe hit the enter key once in a while
No it isnt. If that is the level of accommodation you require then it’s something you need to deal with. How would you suggest strangers interact? Purely transactionally or otherwise we dont speak to one another? Aside from access to jobs that require less social interaction, which i think seems a lot more reasonable than everyone changing their behavior seems a lot more practical, im really not sure what action yku would like to see.
How would you suggest strangers interact? Purely transactionally or otherwise we dont speak to one another?
That’s literally how it works in many non-American cultures, yes. Seems extremely weird how pushy you’re being about this.
seems a lot more reasonable than everyone changing their behavior
Literally what you’re trying to do, kind of invalidates your entire argument
setting them up with union organizers to get the ball rolling has gotten the goods
That’s great, happy for you and them.
How many others have you gotten fired for trying?
How would you suggest strangers interact?
by not fucking asking questions they don’t care about the answer to. it’s all well and good if you are genuine but you’re doing that in a sea of disingenuous custom and that problem needs to go away.
Hard disagree. There is nothing wrong with being kind to strangers and especially the people forced to serve you.
I’ve worked retail for way too long, and it’s worse being treated like an inanimate object. I have to greet the customers and I hate not to be acknowledged at all.
People acting like my existence isn’t an inconvenience is nice. People acknowledging that I’m real, and tangible, and human, is nice. I ask people how they are, I smile at them, I tell them to have a good day. I apologize too much, and constantly say excuse me.
I’m not trying to force myself on anyone. I feel compelled to be nice and it bothers me when I’m not. I also strongly prefer when people are nice to me. I don’t think trying to further shed our humanity and alianate each other will ever help us.
Same, I like being treated like a person and not a commerce robot
sure, but that isn’t the usual social function of these perfunctory interactions.
I am bound by the same laws of society to ask as those that keep them from giving an honest answer
you could simply not
This is why I don’t even acknowledge people when shopping, I just grunt
the best is when you’re below a conversational level in the local language and the empty verbal ritual is impossible.
I switched to “oh you know” and “another day” a while back and I’ve noticed a lot of other people have similar statements now too. Usually a response of “yeah…” or sarcasm.
I don’t think people are doing okay, and I don’t think very many people have any hope for the future.
Ok I say living the dream a lot to people but we both treat it as a joke.
sorry, I’ve been off hexbear a while and I don’t think we’ve interacted so when I saw the sonic picture i was trying to crack the code as to how they’re related, until I saw another post of yours and realized its a signature. Are we bringing back signatures of the old gamefaqs days or is it because now everybody works from home and its expected?
Yeah, we’re all doing forum signatures now. no clue where it started but it’s taken the website by storm.
There are dozens* of us
* slight exaggeration
no clue where it started
I think it was you. Or at least yours was the first I saw and I think I used its size metrics for mine.
@happybadger@hexbear.net has my favorite signature
an inconvenience in a precarious situation can be life-ruining. millions of people can’t afford to be late to work.
deleted by creator
Normal American:
Give me liberty or give me death!
Normal Person:
How about I give you some food and essentials to hand out to those in need in your community instead?
Normal American:
Fuck Off Commie!!!
The Dead Kennedys singles compilation from the late 80s beat ya too it
i am not a clever man
It was clever when they did it and you hadnt heard of it. So you’re still clever, just someone else was also clever the same way 40 years ago
What are you talking about, i’m constantly inconvenienced all the fucking time by all kinds of things to the point that “willing to be” doesn’t even enter the equation in my thoughts, it’s just my default state
I think it’s less that Americans can’t handle it and more that they can’t handle any more of it
we already have so little time to actually live.
