I think if you can’t tell the two categories apart you should talk about it with a healthcare professional. I don’t know what it’s called in English, but there exists a type of therapy focused on teaching and developing skills that could be helpful.
Healthcare professionals don’t generally judge people to be whining. They try to listen and understand them. Which is hard to do if you dismiss people as whining because you lack the emotional intelligence to hear their grievances.
Personally I find all make be it on a woman or man. To be the single ugliest thing a person can do to them self. Its vile and revolting. It looks highly unnatural, and actively causes me stress some times and I have no idea why. It triggers my flight or fight response when someone has too much on and I can’t accurately make out their features.
Perfume and Cologne is the same way. In my 30 years of life iv never found a single perfume or cologne be it on a man or woman. That did not actively make me gag and make my eyes water. I can frequently taste it on the air long long after many people can’t. Which I assume is part of the problem. I’m just hyper sensitive to almost all fragrances.
90% of laundry detergent, soaps, and basically anything with a scent does exactly the same thing to me.
Iv been yelled at for involuntarily gaging when women walk by me because I can so strongly taste their perfume.
If I could I would out right ban all make up and scents. They are terrible things and from the outside looking in. They seem to do nothing but perpetuate a endless cycle of social abuse. People get judged for using them. For not using them. For using too much, or not enough.
So far as I can tell there’s not a single good thing socially that has come from the invention of non medical cosmetics.
What stray said but also omg, please write more clearly. Write full sentences and don’t put random sentence breaks in places they don’t belong. I assume this is a second language issue and I apologize but it needs grammar work and as long as you’re being rude you can at least be easy to read.
Sharing your opinions of how others chose to dress or act is weird unless you are doing it to influence others. Trying to influence people by belittling them is rude.
You could be saying it about how someone dresses, or dances, or what bike they chose to ride.
It is unfortunate that men belittling women about their makeup is so pervasive in our culture that after at least three generations of people highlighting how hurtful it is, people still think their right to state their opinion of random people is more important than people’s right to go through their day without being accosted.
Just to point out, women also belittle other women for their make up choices. And even do so more frequently than men. By a lot.
Its one of the single most common results any time research looks into the topic. Women almost exclusively attack other women for their looks at rates higher than men in every culture iv ever seen research on the topic in.
This is generally true of any hobby or activity that’s gendered preferenced. Same sex hate in hobbies, appearance and other facteds of life is always an order of magnitude more common than cross sex hate.
So while you not wrong that it’s a problem when men do it. Its a problem when anyone does it full stop. But your also being a raging fucking ignorant misandrist right now on top of it.
Stop it. If your going to bitch about the endless soical problems humanity has. At least do so with out also being part of the problem please.
What do any of those things have to do with the conversation. They didnt understand why men sharing an opinion about women’s makeup was a problem. I explained my view of it.
Life is unfair and people can be mean isn’t a justification its just whataboutism cope. Rather than actually letting people consider that maybe their behavior has hurt people you are helping them justify it because people maybe somewhere other people were mean to some other person probably.
The same way someone saying that you would look better without glasses, or would look better with short hair, or would look better if you worked out more is all belittling.
You are trivializing the choices or non choices a person made. You are implying that the way a person looks is in some way wrong or could be better, that they are less than.
I think it is more like wearing colorful lenses and then somebody tells you your eye color is cute why you prefer wearing lenses. But I kinda get it. Though I still think it is fine to complement no makeup. If I cut my hair and get complements I wont get upset
It’s usually not complete strangers, but friends and partners: “you look better with less makeup”, “why are you wearing that?”, “see you look good without makeup!”, “are you OK, you look sick?”, “what’s wrong, are you sad?”
I just don’t agree with it. People experience others and have every right to share how they experience the world around them, even if that hurts someone’s feelings. No one has a right to never hear an opinion that makes them feel bad. You’re not children, you’re adults.
My experience is that you would come off as a lot more approachable online if you used less words. You might think that using all those words covers up your flaws but I think you could use a lot less words and be your authentic self and people would like being around you more.
To a random person that makes sense … But like this is something partners typically express.
Have you just never been in a healthy relationship where you can talk to your SO about their appearance and your preferences honestly?
Being sexy for your partner requires you to actually understand their prefences and fetishes. So you can make appeals to them.
There’s nothing wrong and if anything it’s highly unhealthy for the relationship to be scared to express your physical preferences. Its even worse if you are unable to accept the information openly.
It sounds like you might just either have had horridly unhealthy experiences with men. Or are possibly just a narcissist. Depending on the context your speaking about.
Seriously, a healthy relationship is foundationally built on understanding and part of that is knowing your partners perfences. It goes both ways.
You wouldn’t find that comment really weird from anyone you’re not sexually involved with? Yeah obviously it’s different when it’s a partner, but that’s not what we’re talking about. Unsolicited advice on how I groom myself is creepy to me. I think you’d find it creepy too, which is why I tried to give a more relatable example. Evidently that makes me a narcissist, jesus. Can’t talk about anything.
Nobody is talking to you, though, or any specific woman, just women in general. That you equate 'I prefer women who shave their legs." with “Shave your legs, atomicrange!” shows some kind of thought pattern, for sure. Or maybe less thought and more feelings.
People do talk to individual specific women this way. That’s what we’re talking about.
It’s not that you’re misunderstanding or being uncharitable or there’s a miscommunication, it’s because I’m not thinking, I’m just a dumb woman only feelings no thoughts head empty. Thanks for the valuable discussion, love trying to give a perspective and being met with condescension.
That may be what you have reduced the discussion to, a personal experience, but the op comment spoke generally, not specifically, as did I. So we are not talking about the same thing. At what point did you start thinking specifically, and not generally?
If your beleifs don’t come from a well reasoned argument, from where else but feelings would your thoughts arise?
Sorry, I’m incapable of discussing this due to my lack of reasoning. Obviously I’m too emotional because I tried to offer an example of what this might be like to experience that men might find it easier to relate to. What a stupid brainless thing of me to do. Sorry my beliefs (what were they again? That it would be weird if some rando commented on your appearance?) are idiotic and based in pure emotion not rational thought. Gross.
Removed by mod
Having a preference and whining are not the same thing.
Things that are fine to say in relevant social contexts:
Things that are creepy to say in any context:
See this sounds like whining to me. How does one tell the difference?
I think if you can’t tell the two categories apart you should talk about it with a healthcare professional. I don’t know what it’s called in English, but there exists a type of therapy focused on teaching and developing skills that could be helpful.
Healthcare professionals don’t generally judge people to be whining. They try to listen and understand them. Which is hard to do if you dismiss people as whining because you lack the emotional intelligence to hear their grievances.
Personally I find all make be it on a woman or man. To be the single ugliest thing a person can do to them self. Its vile and revolting. It looks highly unnatural, and actively causes me stress some times and I have no idea why. It triggers my flight or fight response when someone has too much on and I can’t accurately make out their features.
Perfume and Cologne is the same way. In my 30 years of life iv never found a single perfume or cologne be it on a man or woman. That did not actively make me gag and make my eyes water. I can frequently taste it on the air long long after many people can’t. Which I assume is part of the problem. I’m just hyper sensitive to almost all fragrances.
90% of laundry detergent, soaps, and basically anything with a scent does exactly the same thing to me.
Iv been yelled at for involuntarily gaging when women walk by me because I can so strongly taste their perfume.
If I could I would out right ban all make up and scents. They are terrible things and from the outside looking in. They seem to do nothing but perpetuate a endless cycle of social abuse. People get judged for using them. For not using them. For using too much, or not enough.
So far as I can tell there’s not a single good thing socially that has come from the invention of non medical cosmetics.
This is valid:
This is needlessly insulting:
What stray said but also omg, please write more clearly. Write full sentences and don’t put random sentence breaks in places they don’t belong. I assume this is a second language issue and I apologize but it needs grammar work and as long as you’re being rude you can at least be easy to read.
Sharing your opinions of how others chose to dress or act is weird unless you are doing it to influence others. Trying to influence people by belittling them is rude.
You could be saying it about how someone dresses, or dances, or what bike they chose to ride.
It is unfortunate that men belittling women about their makeup is so pervasive in our culture that after at least three generations of people highlighting how hurtful it is, people still think their right to state their opinion of random people is more important than people’s right to go through their day without being accosted.
Just to point out, women also belittle other women for their make up choices. And even do so more frequently than men. By a lot.
Its one of the single most common results any time research looks into the topic. Women almost exclusively attack other women for their looks at rates higher than men in every culture iv ever seen research on the topic in.
This is generally true of any hobby or activity that’s gendered preferenced. Same sex hate in hobbies, appearance and other facteds of life is always an order of magnitude more common than cross sex hate.
So while you not wrong that it’s a problem when men do it. Its a problem when anyone does it full stop. But your also being a raging fucking ignorant misandrist right now on top of it.
Stop it. If your going to bitch about the endless soical problems humanity has. At least do so with out also being part of the problem please.
What do any of those things have to do with the conversation. They didnt understand why men sharing an opinion about women’s makeup was a problem. I explained my view of it.
Life is unfair and people can be mean isn’t a justification its just whataboutism cope. Rather than actually letting people consider that maybe their behavior has hurt people you are helping them justify it because people maybe somewhere other people were mean to some other person probably.
Genuine question. How thinking that your “default” face looks much cuter than covering it with some products is belittling?
The same way someone saying that you would look better without glasses, or would look better with short hair, or would look better if you worked out more is all belittling.
You are trivializing the choices or non choices a person made. You are implying that the way a person looks is in some way wrong or could be better, that they are less than.
I think it is more like wearing colorful lenses and then somebody tells you your eye color is cute why you prefer wearing lenses. But I kinda get it. Though I still think it is fine to complement no makeup. If I cut my hair and get complements I wont get upset
How common is it that random people just tell women on face these things? Asking out of genuine curiosity
It’s usually not complete strangers, but friends and partners: “you look better with less makeup”, “why are you wearing that?”, “see you look good without makeup!”, “are you OK, you look sick?”, “what’s wrong, are you sad?”
Well that’s definitely a take. People can’t have experiences of others and share them.
You really aren’t getting it eh? People are literally spelling it out for you and you’re still completely dodging the point.
I just don’t agree with it. People experience others and have every right to share how they experience the world around them, even if that hurts someone’s feelings. No one has a right to never hear an opinion that makes them feel bad. You’re not children, you’re adults.
My experience is that you would come off as a lot more approachable online if you used less words. You might think that using all those words covers up your flaws but I think you could use a lot less words and be your authentic self and people would like being around you more.
You make a lot of assumptions to make yourself feel better.
I’m sorry, that sounds awfully close to whining about women wearing makeup.
God forbid someone have an opinion on makeup that isn’t positive! Stone them!
“I prefer it when you don’t shave your legs”. So? Keep it to yourself weirdo, I’m not doing it for you.
To a random person that makes sense … But like this is something partners typically express.
Have you just never been in a healthy relationship where you can talk to your SO about their appearance and your preferences honestly?
Being sexy for your partner requires you to actually understand their prefences and fetishes. So you can make appeals to them.
There’s nothing wrong and if anything it’s highly unhealthy for the relationship to be scared to express your physical preferences. Its even worse if you are unable to accept the information openly.
It sounds like you might just either have had horridly unhealthy experiences with men. Or are possibly just a narcissist. Depending on the context your speaking about.
Seriously, a healthy relationship is foundationally built on understanding and part of that is knowing your partners perfences. It goes both ways.
You got me being a narcissist from just that?
You wouldn’t find that comment really weird from anyone you’re not sexually involved with? Yeah obviously it’s different when it’s a partner, but that’s not what we’re talking about. Unsolicited advice on how I groom myself is creepy to me. I think you’d find it creepy too, which is why I tried to give a more relatable example. Evidently that makes me a narcissist, jesus. Can’t talk about anything.
Yes look at op posting a generic preferemce amd youre in here taking it as a personal assault. Do better
A salient and compassionate perspective.
Nobody is talking to you, though, or any specific woman, just women in general. That you equate 'I prefer women who shave their legs." with “Shave your legs, atomicrange!” shows some kind of thought pattern, for sure. Or maybe less thought and more feelings.
People do talk to individual specific women this way. That’s what we’re talking about.
It’s not that you’re misunderstanding or being uncharitable or there’s a miscommunication, it’s because I’m not thinking, I’m just a dumb woman only feelings no thoughts head empty. Thanks for the valuable discussion, love trying to give a perspective and being met with condescension.
That may be what you have reduced the discussion to, a personal experience, but the op comment spoke generally, not specifically, as did I. So we are not talking about the same thing. At what point did you start thinking specifically, and not generally?
If your beleifs don’t come from a well reasoned argument, from where else but feelings would your thoughts arise?
Sorry, I’m incapable of discussing this due to my lack of reasoning. Obviously I’m too emotional because I tried to offer an example of what this might be like to experience that men might find it easier to relate to. What a stupid brainless thing of me to do. Sorry my beliefs (what were they again? That it would be weird if some rando commented on your appearance?) are idiotic and based in pure emotion not rational thought. Gross.
Being defensive is your choice. I’ll leave you to it.
I like you lol
I wine when anyone wears it men or women. Make up just sucks and freaks me out on a fundamental level. Shit scares the actual fuck out of me.
Not all men, but definitely you
That’s the kind of prejudiced reasoning that makes the mess to begin with.
It’s not prejudiced to judge someone for their actual actions
And what have you concluded about me from these alleged actions?
Honestly? That you have difficulty stating things in a way that people will interpret as you intend. Or that you’re trolling.
That you have an impressive talent in accumulating downvotes 😬
Haha
Found the manchild who cannot get it up. Sad.
Oh, attack the assumed sexual capabilities of your target, very original.
God forbid a woman doesn’t want to hang out with you.
(repeat for all women until no woman wants to hang out with you)
Are you implying I suggested otherwise? I support a woman’s right to choose, as I do a man’s.