It’s true, he said in an interview that Deltarune is a secret gay laser that turns anything you point it at gay.
I accidentally pointed at my aquarium and now all my fish are smooching gayly.
It’s true, he said in an interview that Deltarune is a secret gay laser that turns anything you point it at gay.
I accidentally pointed at my aquarium and now all my fish are smooching gayly.
Legit question, I’ve heard a lot about the cues that indicate someone is a trans woman rather than a femboy, but what (if any) are the cues that someone is a femboy rather than a trans woman?
Being misgendered or having their identities erased is not a constant threat of systemically backed, life-destroying violence to cis men, so there’s no need to go out of your way to protect them from it when that inevitably means you will catch trans women in the crossfire. “Femboy” is a transmisogynist slur 90% of the time, a way to deny our identities while jerking it to us. If the actual femboys out there would have any shred of solidarity, they would stop using that label for themselves altogether. The only reason i am not censoring the term like i censor all the various t slurs and the f slur is that it is not wordfiltered, i seriously would find it more offensive to be called a femboy than a t slur. And the t slur is already offensive and insulting as hell. But femboy, that’s seriously worse.
Or, to put it briefly: I do not care about the plight of the femboy.
Honestly “femboy” should be added to the slur filter list, it could be great transphobe purging potential.
But cant you be queer femboy or is femboy fundamentally a cis thing, idrk. Kinda how theres fem demiboys and enby femboys and people like that in the larger context of queer and trans people I guess.
That’s besides the point. Femboy as a self descriptor is obviously used by all kinds of queer people, but the term itself is a transmisogynist porn category. I don’t fucking care if a TME person finds the term cool or affirming, it’s not ok to take a slur that is used to fetishize my loved ones and me while denying and erasing our identities and turn that into a lifestylist microlabel. It’s not exactly like white people thinking they get an n word pass if they’re really into hip hop, each form of bigottry has its unique history and implications, but i can’t help but think of that kind of crowd when i see people appropriate that slur to describe their gender expression.
What other term do you suggest to use instead of femboy that is as short and clear?
This comment reads like someone is just trying to find the culprit to an issue, it just sounds like that IMO, i hope it’s not what you are aiming for and that i missinterpeted…
Anyway, i am more happy to drop the femboy label but i think we should first find an alternative that cannot be weaponized tho
This entire comment chain is about the erasure of trans women. Call trans women trans women instead of using pornhub categories to refer to us.
Ok, that’s what i already do, but if you don’t like me using “Femboy” on ma self and other boys that like to wear femme clothing and act a little more femme, what i should use duh?
Just pick literally anything that’s not a transmisogynist slur. Shouldn’t be that hard.
Can you suggest anything? All of i can think of can be weaponized in a way or another
Yeah, i get it. Even if we’d workshop something that sounds innocuous now, if you have a label for a community of people who are femme presenting but are actually in some cases cis men, it will at some point be weaponized against trans women and other transfeminine people to deny our transness. That’s kind of inescapable in a structurally transmisogynist society.
Obviously that shouldn’t stop gender nonconforming men from experimenting and from presenting in the way you like, i’m fully on board with people doing that. In fact, it’s also extremely important for unouted trans women that such communities exist. I have several transfem friends who used to identity as femboy or crossdresser before they had figured themselves out. And it was absolutely necessary for them to have a space where they could safely try looking like a girl without already committing to trans womanhood. I’m not saying anything against that.
But it doesn’t change the fact that the femboy label is pivotal for men outside of that community in telling trans women that one of us is, in fact, just a man who likes makeup. That isn’t the fault of femboys, it’s the fault of transphobes. I get that. I’m not blaming you for transphobia and trans erasure. I’m just saying, at least be mindful of in which contexts you use that label and who may appropriate it and who you may need to defend when you see it’s weaponized.
I can’t add much to what you said, i agree.
+1
CW transphobic terms
In my own personal opinion, femboy doesnt read as any less derivative than the transphobic labels of “lady-+boy” and “she/male” that have been historically used to demean and fetishize trans women, especially trans women of color.
The cisgender men who present femininely within the fashion subculture aren’t important to me relative to the closeted trans women who are boxed in by the femboy moniker to get validation from cis people during their transition.
Society has put so much of a stigma of being potentially labeled as trans that trans-absent terminology is reinforced. Labeling ralsei as trans femme doesnt hurt a cisgender ralsei at all, its only uncomfortable to transphobes who only accept short, out of the way trans narratives (like Pink/mad mew mew)
Damn, for years that term in my mind was just shorthand for a gender nonconforming man. I never thought of it as a trans-denying term or a specifically fashion-oriented thing. Sounds like it’s carrying a lot more baggage than I’d realized. Gonna stop using it since it’s carrying a whole lot of connotations I definitely do not want.
Most often “femboy” is a porn term, used to demean trans women and transfeminine sex workers (same way terms like she+male or lady+boy are). Some transfems adopt the term either as a part of their self discovery journey or out of necessity if theyre sex workers and “femboy” stuff pays better, but if u are not transfeminine u should not use the term either for urself or for anyone else, u arent its target
Usually that the creators are transmisogynists and would never even accidentally consider making a transfem character