My parents had children they couldn’t actually afford, so they spent most of their time at work instead of raising us. Somehow, they expect me to be grateful to them for not being there and for bringing me into slave world.
Same, but I went another way with it. I decided to have kids and be a better parent than them. Since my brother didn’t have kids I was able to break the cycle and put better people into the world than my parents did.
If we don’t try to put better and smart people out there then we are destined to fulfill Mike Judges prophecy.
I love kids, being a parent was the only “dream” I was really sure of when I was younger. But I can barely afford to support myself, and as a woman in my upper-30s I can see the door of opportunity closing rapidly.
Thankfully, not all is lost. Working in education means I get to do my part to “put better and smart people out there” without having my own kids. It still hurts that I can’t have the life I wanted, but at least I have the ability to positively influence future generations.
The “door of opportunity closing rapidly” in the upper thirties suggests she’s worried she won’t be able to afford kids before she’d have trouble with pregnancy.
Which, yeah, adoption or fostering could address part of that - but some people also want to experience the biological part of that process, and it sucks when they don’t really get that choice
It’s both. Whether making a baby the old fashioned way or adopting, there’s an upper age limit to when most people would prefer to have kids. Adoption is expensive as hell. I might have the money to adopt by the time I’m 50, but I don’t want to be nearing 70 when my kid graduates high school.
Recently, when I went to the doctor, the nurse was going to take my blood pressure. I told the nurse it was going to be high, because the waiting room had a child having a meltdown, and a guy blasting what to me sounded like porn from his speaker.
The nurse zeroed in on the kid having a meltdown (not the kids fault at all, a five year old getting bloodwork done can be a nightmare, I know it) and this nurse started telling me anytime her kids acted up shed “pop them” right then and there and they behaved. Talked down on parents not doing this, and I just sat there in shock, and then defended the kid.
Another parent in my neighborhood said to me so casually, yeah I hit him (his special needs son) but I gave him a choice, the belt or my hand, he made his choice. DCF(CPS) is involved with the dude, and I am just shocked he’s so open about beating his kid.
Yikes! It is frightening how shameless some people are; proud, even.
When I was young, I decided I probably shouldn’t have kids. I figured that if my parents (who I loved and respected at the time) couldn’t raise me without so much pain and fear, I’d probably do an even worse job.
When I told my abusive mother this as an adult, she told me I did not actually have that thought. How convenient for her.
My parents had children they couldn’t actually afford, so they spent most of their time at work instead of raising us. Somehow, they expect me to be grateful to them for not being there and for bringing me into slave world.
I wish I hadn’t been born.
Same, but I went another way with it. I decided to have kids and be a better parent than them. Since my brother didn’t have kids I was able to break the cycle and put better people into the world than my parents did.
If we don’t try to put better and smart people out there then we are destined to fulfill Mike Judges prophecy.
I love kids, being a parent was the only “dream” I was really sure of when I was younger. But I can barely afford to support myself, and as a woman in my upper-30s I can see the door of opportunity closing rapidly.
Thankfully, not all is lost. Working in education means I get to do my part to “put better and smart people out there” without having my own kids. It still hurts that I can’t have the life I wanted, but at least I have the ability to positively influence future generations.
Adoption can still be an option, maybe?
I don’t think that their problem is not being able to reproduce, it’s that they don’t have enough money to afford life if they have children.
The “door of opportunity closing rapidly” in the upper thirties suggests she’s worried she won’t be able to afford kids before she’d have trouble with pregnancy.
Which, yeah, adoption or fostering could address part of that - but some people also want to experience the biological part of that process, and it sucks when they don’t really get that choice
It’s both. Whether making a baby the old fashioned way or adopting, there’s an upper age limit to when most people would prefer to have kids. Adoption is expensive as hell. I might have the money to adopt by the time I’m 50, but I don’t want to be nearing 70 when my kid graduates high school.
Idiocracy?
Edit: Idiocracy.
This is the reality for most people. I’m sorry they couldn’t spend more time with you.
Yeah but imagine if we lived in a society where they could afford to have to and had time to raise you, that would’ve been pretty cool eh?
I prefer to focus on reality. Abuse has been normalized and things need to change. Others have it worse than I do. There are more victims every day.
Recently, when I went to the doctor, the nurse was going to take my blood pressure. I told the nurse it was going to be high, because the waiting room had a child having a meltdown, and a guy blasting what to me sounded like porn from his speaker.
The nurse zeroed in on the kid having a meltdown (not the kids fault at all, a five year old getting bloodwork done can be a nightmare, I know it) and this nurse started telling me anytime her kids acted up shed “pop them” right then and there and they behaved. Talked down on parents not doing this, and I just sat there in shock, and then defended the kid.
Another parent in my neighborhood said to me so casually, yeah I hit him (his special needs son) but I gave him a choice, the belt or my hand, he made his choice. DCF(CPS) is involved with the dude, and I am just shocked he’s so open about beating his kid.
It’s diabolical out there.
Yikes! It is frightening how shameless some people are; proud, even.
When I was young, I decided I probably shouldn’t have kids. I figured that if my parents (who I loved and respected at the time) couldn’t raise me without so much pain and fear, I’d probably do an even worse job.
When I told my abusive mother this as an adult, she told me I did not actually have that thought. How convenient for her.
We no longer speak. 🥲