My family is shit. They’re also the reason why I transitioned too late. I kinda knew they were assholes since my childhood but after realizing trans, and seeing their reactions, I took what I saw on raisedbynarcs subreddit more seriously and I wish I realized gaslighting earlier too…
They were violent, humiliating, bullying, swearing, making fun of me, neglecting, extremely controlling, threatening, narcissistic, bigoted, EXTREMELY ignorant, and never taught me anything to become an independent person as they wanted to keep controlling me forever.
Now I’m stuck with them for a while until paperwork is done but sometimes I can’t stand them anymore. Most shelters in Toronto are extremely disgusting and dangerous. I’m unemployed with zero skills.
I don’t want to apply college with my deadname so I have to wait until the docs but it’s depressing.
I will also apply for ODSP soon but I’m so depressed. There isn’t even 1 good thing in my life…
I miss 2022 when I was hopeful for this country and had dreams…
Stupid me
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it’s pretty difficult to live alone. i would advise looking for groups to go with, maybe find some friends who you get along with well to share apartment with (lower rent that way). idk what else to tell you. i don’t know your immediate surroundings so well.
nyaaa i have same problem, they dumb, they toxic, they ignoring me, etc, but THEY also give me CNS damage by forcibly bumping with fcking horsedose antipsychotics!!! for being trans, as well SSRI, TCA, valproate, nootropics, etc a ton of shit, abused be chemically and psychologically, etc etc, they also have super logic, “WE NEVER ABUSED U PHYSICALLY”, but now more brutal - chemically
fck i still live w them and cant leave at all, they dont hear me, they toxic, they dumb, they still want control my mind
recently my dumb mother said, that i “speak too much”(and she also dont like when i dont attention her and dont speak), and claimed that probably i take too much my anxiolytic med, but its not was much one, i doesnt speak that muuch, i wasnt was “high” or manic,
nyaaaa
weird hopefully but she didnt spot at all, when i abused pregabalin, and was high
fck again confirming she wanna control my mind adasjkl;dajlfa;kljfa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaarwrwawrwaw
Girl, I’m not exaggerating these people are seriously sick shitheads.
Just leave ASAP, and don’t you fuckin dare to look back!
I will do this too but thanks to the shit economy abusers win. This is the world conservatives want anyways…
Corrupt pedos…
yup i will leave when i will be able, fck being autistic + adhd + brain damage, idk will find money in any possible way, whole country is extreme faschist, it would be very hard to leave, is much much worse than turkey(its r*zz!a), govrenment will abuse me too(psych wards are prisons, where anyone can close u)
Holy fuck, Russia is a hell.
I saw a trans girl who was in a similar situation and she escaped to China and started HRT there. I saw her on Reddit.
Maybe similar method? Countries like Kazakhstan etc. may be better idk what to say.
Stay safe ♥️
kazakhstan is occupied by putin isnt option, georgia too
turkey might be temporary option, armenia for now might be option too, putler isnt broken last elections but tried, even argentina is non-visa for now(90 day without visa), visas is hell since most countries even doesnt have visa centers and only thru armenia for example, probably will go for it
i hopefully on diy hrt now and managed to start at ~15.8 yo, i never scared todo diy, instead did research and put all effort todo it
i need neurology treatment for my antipsychotic damage, but medicine is sux, neurology is nootropology here, and fck meds are just isnt available…, huh two self-meds really helped me, but tolerance hits very fast like ~4 day, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why any helpful med just stop working, but antipsychotics, ssri’s, are unstoppably destroying me, i shut off antipsychotic finally 4 months ago, and feel better n better without this shit, and fck my cognitive function is much better now, also shutting down SSRI now, also feel A TON better
adhd meds are completly banned and prison for getting it somewhere else, its more illegal than opioids incl fentanyl… any fcking dopaminergic meds are ass controlled(cuz after antipsychotic isnt only adhd, but motor problems), those assholes basically wanted make me parkinsons, two asshole psychiatrist wanted put me on multiple antipsychotics at once… one wanted me put on promazine daily together with horse dose of aripiprazol…
meow meow mreaow at least after tapering shit, i dont have dysmorphobia, dysphoria and depression nyaaaaayynyaya mr;pmprmpmrprm pAOWIOAIPWIAPIWPIPIdfhalkj kajdlkjfklaj BUT physically feel awful…
I’m so sorry sweetie. Things will get better once you get away from them. There must be a huge trans community in Toronto, is there any way you can reach out to trans support and mutual aid groups in the city? Even if you had just a few people you could talk to, be friends with, that would be a great start.
You are not stupid and none of this is your fault. You are a victim in this. You deserve and need real support.
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“How do you cope with misgendering?”(On HRT for only 7 months kek)
Why does their relatively short time on hormones make their question stupid or toxic? They’re asking for how to cope with misgendering, something which I’d imagine they experience a lot of if they are asking about it
I mean u just have to ignore it until u’re passing, what else to say?
I was even in worse condition than her like pre-HRT.
That’s a very dismissive attitude - we should aim to lift one another up, not break one another down :)
OK I’m sorry I presumed you would not have tried that. I guess I’ve been lucky with the people I’ve found.
It’s okay.
Hey! I don’t really know what to say… just wanted you know that even tho I don’t know you I still love you. Thank you for being you!
Thank you <3
