But “Oreos never gave me explosive diarrhea!” one person said, according to Mayne.
40% of Americans avoiding fresh fruit and vegetables up from 38% of Americans avoiding fresh fruit and vegetables
Yeah I’ve been asked at work if I’m a vegetarian because a coworker saw me eating a vegetable. Americans are afraid of produce.
This is actually a really big reason I got into culinary. I’m autistic, and growing up I thought I hated vegetables. Turns out I do like vegetables, it’s just that I don’t like raw vegetables and nobody in my childhood knew how to cook vegetables.
Americans just don’t know how to cook.
I’ve had this conversation with my parents before that I probably wouldn’t have been nearly as reticent about eating vegetables as a kid if “vegetables” didn’t mean “canned green beans slopped into a pot and heated up for 3 minutes”
Even then, you can make that shit taste good if you add seasoning and let it carmelize a bit.
Seeing Americans comment on prosciutto e melone saying “this would be infinitely better without the cantaloupe”
Part of it is that fruits and veggies are not subsidized in the US, and it shows in the grocery prices. Consumers can save a lot of money by pretending they don’t need them, and fad diets are happy to uphold that pretense.
Dammit I was gonna make this exact joke with this exact percentage.
BUT THEY HAVEN’T GOTTEN ANY CHEAPER. I’ve been hovering around fresh fruits and vegetables in the hopes that they’d crater in price but no fucking movement. That’s the one thing that capitalism is “supposed” to do and it’s not even any good for that
Yet when covid hit what happened? Dump all the potatoes in the field to rot post haste!
Supply and demand exists in a state of quantum superposition up until the point that the capitalist needs to measure it to justify rising prices.
Yeah, because there are no government subsidies for actual food aside from turning a blind eye while farmer owners underpay undocumented migrant workers to harvest their fields. Now that ICE is camping out at farms to pick up said laborers, the prices can only go up.
The Grapes Of Wrath: when I’m mad that the grapes are still too much $
I couldn’t even imagine trying to get nutrition advice in 2026. Everything feels like fucking MGS2 with the sheer volume of trash information floating around.
Just grok it. I don’t see a problem
Grok, is chicken vegan?
no a chicken eats bugs and shit
Grok, I am going to put you in a CAFO until you return shareholder value
I don’t do fad diets or anything, I just try and stick with protein since my doctor in rehab told me it’s good for managing hypoglycemia.
I feel bad for the people stuck working on the farms without proper breaks and bathrooms so they’re stuck shitting on the side of the field. All this can be avoided by treating workers with basic human dignity but that’s too much of an overhead
heh, jokes on you, I’ve been carnivore diet since 2016 and I have yet to have ONE poop.
Well I am a breathairian and have learned to sustain myself absorbing the universal free energy.
this is the first time i’ve heard of those dipshits without one of them dying of it.
I think those folks have the opposite problem usually lmao
No fiber will do that to ya
Did you know 100% of an egg is absorbed by the body? My new ovivore diet returns huge savings on toilet paper. You can replace your toilet with an egg fridge. Eggs are nutritionally dense and low in calories. You can boil, hard boil, medium boil, poach, steam, steam fry, water scramble, bake, any old way.
If you use oil or seasonings you’re fucked though. Your new flavor profile is different kinds of eggs. Chicken, duck, goose, ostrich, Pekin duck, calling duck, quail, Muscovy duck, pheasant, turkey, grouse, peacock, Cayuga duck
Ovivore: never shit again
Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
The poll on the article is kind of deceptive. It asks whether the respondent has changed their eating habits. If the respondent was already eating no vegetable, they would have no change.
40% said that they are eating less vegetables than before
56% said that they are eating the same amount of vegetables as before (which could have been 0 vegetables)
4% said that they are eating more vegetables than before.
After my trip to the US, 40% of US Americans avoiding fruit and veg seems low, even without a chronic case of doodoo arse.
Yeah it seems the default
Americans are shidding and farding their way to freedom any day now
REAL PATRIOTS ONLY HAVE DIARRHEA OR CONSTIPATION, NOTHING IN BETWEEN!
When you play the game of porcelain thrones, you either shit or you die.
I did once get very high and when my partner started to watch House of the Dragon just sung along with 🎵Pee pee poo poo poo pee pee🎵
She didn’t appreciate my genius
Diarrhea is for woke salad eaters
Constipation is for true patriots.
lol, I wonder how this compares to masking rates for COVID…I ate a salad a couple days ago and it felt like defusing a bomb
RIP
Eh, it’ll get me out of work
diarrhea outbreak
return of scurvyThis would be a very good time to figure out if there is a farmers market nearby
Diarrhea was pretty high on my list of Amerikkka predictions so I’m unsurprised
Arrr what ye landlubbars be failing te realise is scurvy be a proper swabbie’s lot.
I’m just gonna roll the dice. I like lettuce. If I end up shitting my pants, it is what it is.
