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seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago

Whole Foods Closes 6 More Stores After Customer Tries Blueberry Without Paying For It

www.theonion.com

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Whole Foods Closes 6 More Stores After Customer Tries Blueberry Without Paying For It

www.theonion.com

seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago
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AUSTIN, TX—Ascribing the decision to prioritizing the safety of the chain’s employees and customers, grocery retailer Whole Foods announced Thursday that they would be closing 6 more stores across the country after a customer tried a blueberry without paying for it. “If someone takes even one more blueberry, we’ll be…
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  • Inevitable Waffles [Ohio]@midwest.social
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    2 years ago

    “For every unpaid for grain of rice, I will create a new food desert.” - Bezos, probably.

    • Hotdogman@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      What about all the unpaid wages?

      • Inevitable Waffles [Ohio]@midwest.social
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        2 years ago

        That’s the loophole for the 13th amendment. We all get convicted of theft because we steal to survive then they put us back in our same jobs as wards of the state for no pay. It’s the real long game.

      • grte@lemmy.ca
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        2 years ago

        Those lead to more Amazon distribution centres.

  • Iwasondigg
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    2 years ago

    Nice dig at Target.

  • ArtificialLink@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Why does it feel like so many ppl in the comments ate the onion?

  • ByteWizard@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Wow. Imagine being on the side of thunderhead looters. Guess I’m a sucker for paying for my groceries.

    Enjoy those self-inflicted food deserts!

    • Inevitable Waffles [Ohio]@midwest.social
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      2 years ago

      If you see someone stealing food, no you didn’t.

    • TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      You do realize that 99% of people stealing food aren’t doing it for profit right?

      • SkybreakerEngineer@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        And also that crime isn’t actually up, but rent is

    • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      Self-inflicted food deserts

      Ha, that’s a good one. Ok, in you go barbara-pit

  • verbalbotanics@beehaw.org
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    2 years ago

    For fun, try asking the produce employees how much they “cull” every week. Remember, it’s not theft if you do it to yourself!

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