Something I’ve always wondered is what kind of women were in the lives of incel men when they were young. Did they have a bad relationship with their mother? Did they lack sisters or other female family members? Or is their family situation irrelevant? Maybe some particular situation in their early years caused them to develop a complex around women?
Exactly this. I’m someone who definitely could have fallen into the incel pipeline and you hit the nail on the head. To be clear, I’m 28 years old and have never gotten past a first date (and have only had one of those). I’ve only ever experienced rejection. I’ve never experienced any kind of physical or emotional intimacy from someone I was attracted to. Basically every aspect of human culture and society make me feel like a failure for this. Of course, while I am “involuntarily celibate”, I’m not an incel. I have the good sense to realise that it’s my own fault and to hate myself rather than to place the blame with women. I have a recently diagnosed case of Autism Spectrum Disorder which has hardly impacted other aspects of my life. I have friends, a career, pastimes, I live on my own. Literally the only place where I feel “disabled” is in trying to form meaningful connections with women.
I feel for you. I’m in the same boat. I hope it’ll get better for you.