I want my best friend alive again, and the cancer to be gone. He can have the third.
I’d give all three of mine to this guy.
Sorry for your loss ;(
- Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
- Give me the ability to see/hear remote locations at will.
- Give me Jessica Jones style mind-control, but without needing to be physically present.
'scuse me while I go unfuck some shit.
Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
“SEE! We told you the problem would fix itself! Now we don’t need to take any action to better ourselves for the sake of the environment!”
Luckily you thought of that and using your third wish, you can fix it properly.
Infinite wishes
Fool! I wish for infinite wishes plus one!
inifinity + 1 = infinity
Try ℵ₁ wishes!
ℵ₁ +1! Gotcha!
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Motivation to complete anything I decide to do.
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General happiness with life.
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Good health for my immediate family and I for 50 years.
I mean, you could have solved starvation and global peace, but those are nice too.
You’re welcome to solve those if you want.
Don’t highroad wishes.
And always drink Bailey’s from a shoe
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A monkeys paw mechanic for everyone in this thread except for me, the annullment of my own bodily needs (eg. sleep, food, water), and i dunno, maybe a cool rock
You are later crushed by your cool rock. Not because of a monkey paw but everybody else is so mad they drop it on you.
Haw haw reverse uno I use my monkey paw wish to wish the same upon to you also cool rock
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A post scarcity society
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World peace
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The eradication of authoritarianism
and capitalism (which would be the case under #1 but don’t underestimate human greed)
Capitalism is ultimately bourgeoisie authoritarianism
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Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.
Fix ignorance/hate
Fix capitalism & greed
a private reality which obeys whatever rules i want it to.
the ability to interface this reality with any others, as well as disconnect it, at will.
shit. this is top tier wishing right here
don’t forget to make your first wish “if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices”
since we’re supposed to not be dealing with a monkey paw/genie situation, i didn’t use it this way, but in general I’d recommend making it your first wish under any such circumstances.
rephrase as necessary to further weed out possible loopholes.
1 - safety plan from other poster “if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices”
2 - maine plan - everyone wakes up to find out we are in a simulation and the real world is a post scarcity start trek like society but with total peace and harmony and none of the fighting
3 - backup plan - my own personal universe/dimension where I control all aspects of it and can enter it and leave it whenever I want. It exists outside of our time/space so when I enter and leave I can go anywhere within either as a destinationAn Commodore 64, 7 million dollars, and a garbage can that never gets full
Every house needs an incinerator
and no one will ever need more than 64k of ram
Best I can do is a C64 emulator …
I miss my first computer 😢
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Post scarcity society.
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Immortality.
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Infinite wishes.
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Omnipotence. Then I’m pretty much done.
After that, add Omniscience
Congratulations! You now have the same relationship to the universe that a programmer has to his code.
Good luck, and happy debugging
Everything will be LISP in the future
Not even necessary, with omnipotence you can do that youself. But a little mystery in life would still be fun, no?
Screw it! Just change the laws of reality so you can be omniscient and have mystery at the same time. Make it so those two things don’t conflict.
Yes! Give me all of the science!
Universal healthcare
Capitalism and authoritarianism eradicated
Everyone’s medical and student debt wiped
The power to change things, the knowledge of how to change things for a desired outcome, and the wisdom to know if I should.
good one
Max verstappen and Donald Trump both due in a head on car collision against each other.
Green Bay Packers never win another game.
To live a long and healthy life with my wife.
Why Verstappen?
Imagine how excellent this F1 season would have been without him?
How is it Max’s fault everyone else sucks?
Yeah… That’s it. 19 other drivers, including two other multi time world champions, all suck. You are right. I was wrong. Give me a second to open my mouth wide enough to accept Max’s thin, drink tube-like penis as you have
Oh come off it, that was clearly a joke. But seriously, F1 is more than the race for P1. The current season wouldn’t be much more entertaining without him. Sure, he’s dominating at the front, but that’s only 1/20th of the race, everything that happens behind him is constantly in flux and plenty interesting to watch.
But then we wouldn’t have had 2021 which was amazing.
Was it? Twisted rules for a final lap to decide the championship?
Was that really amazing?
Yes. The whole season isn’t written off because of 1 lap. The season was amazing. The final lap was bullshit, but the season was one of the best.
The final lap also wasn’t on Max, that was ok Masi
What did Max ever do to you 😭
He’s just a cunt.
Green Bay Packers never win another game.
I like the way you think. Except it would be Erik Karlsson would never win another game (hockey). Fuck that guy in particular.
