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Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 months ago

Toot toot

sh.itjust.works

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Toot toot

sh.itjust.works

Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 9 months ago
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  • etchinghillside@reddthat.com
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    9 months ago

    You unlock legendary at 4 toots.

    • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Only 0.04% of employees have this

      • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        Is there a strategy guide online for this trophy?

        • variants@possumpat.io
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          9 months ago

          gotta kiss a lot of ass to get that promotion

      • Furbag@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Holy shit, I’m putting this one on my Steam LinkedIn showcase!

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The forth one is always a shart.

      • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        Sally forth!

      • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        Maybe for you, rookie

      • Malfeasant@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        You say that like it’s a bad thing…

  • NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz
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    9 months ago

    The story doesn’t make sense. He only ever does two, three would be ridiculous.

    • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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      9 months ago

      I’m gonna start a rumor that there’s a different boss in a different division that does four.

      • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Still better than the boss that drops an SBD, and then whispers ^“toot” in your ear.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        Legend has it that the higher up you go, the deeper it gets. The penthouse doesn’t even have an office in it, just a single solitary toilet perpetually occupied by a mysterious being known only to the higher ups as The One Who Knocks…

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      I read this in Captain Holt’s voice

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    • lobut@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      RDJ really has some big boots to fill.

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        RDJ really has some big boots toots to fill.

        Ftfy

  • GluWu@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      this whole thread, I’m crying

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.

      • sfxrlz@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…

      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.

    • Glitterbomb@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…

    • asudox@programming.dev
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      9 months ago

      Dominance is the key

    • Neon 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇪🇺🏳️‍⚧️🇹🇼🇮🇱🏳️‍🌈@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting

      Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power

      Repeat

  • salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 months ago

    Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol

    • iamericandre@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Memory unlocked

      Edit: Timmy toot toot https://ned.fandom.com/wiki/Otherwise_if_there's_no_administrators_(including_myself)_are_active_in_dealing_with_it,_you_can_also_make_a_report_on_the_SOAP_Wiki_but_don't_message_members_of_SOAP_in_here._As_always,_we're_still_here_and_it's_in_my_watch,_and_here's_a_list_of_pages_t

      • LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        What the fuck

        • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Howdy fellow amphibian 🎩🐸

          • LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de
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            9 months ago

            M’Toad 👒

      • Bahnd Rollard@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Holy URLs Batman!

        • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          When you’re so passive-aggressive that you encode your hate in a PERL script.

      • cm0002@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Confirmed, OOPs boss is Timmy Toot Toot as an adult lmfao

      • kyle@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        What is up with that title

        • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Don’t worry about it. Just don’t message soap members. Ok?

    • NelDel
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      9 months ago

      That show holds up so well I swear to god

    • Vespair@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      And just like that my suspension of disbelief in this story is shattered. I hope you’re happy.

  • RandomStickman@fedia.io
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    9 months ago

    It’s impacting my morale and performance

    I can’t think of a funnier sentence if I tried

  • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.

    She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.

        Some people are so weird and petty.

        • SuperIce@lemmy.world
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          Some people never emotionally mature past 5 years old. Only sounds like something a kindergartener would do.

          • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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            Agreed, and it’s sad. I mean, I work at a highly technical engineering company. Everyone has at least a BS, and this guy was probably in his 60s with 30+ years of experience. Yet here he was repeatedly farting by a woman because they had a disagreement. It shows you that age and education don’t guarantee maturity.

    • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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      I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.

    • mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org
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      He may have felt (edit: finally) comfortable around her . . .

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      Japan is still recovering from the last two

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      There’s blood in that one.

    • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      There are 4 Toots!

  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.

    • cammoblammo@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The copyright issues could be interesting.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:

      https://youtu.be/0_pqvod-xOw?si=Xqwk2g1nVMbDSkhP

      Personally, i think this song and music video slaps

      • korazail@lemmy.myserv.one
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        It does indeed. Thanks for sharing this, and I’m now a fan. Sadly, they seem to have split up after rebranding as ‘Twin Beasts’. I found the album for this on bandcamp: https://thetoottoottoots.bandcamp.com/album/outlaws ; and the rest of the album is great too after sampling a few tracks.

        That lead vocalist is mostly incomprehensible, but his voice is awesome.

    • Kroma@lemmy.world
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      ???.

      Profit.

  • caboose2006@lemmy.ca
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    9 months ago

    I literally laughed so hard I cried.

    • coaxil@lemm.ee
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      I laughed so hard I legit farted.

      • Jano@sopuli.xyz
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        9 months ago

        I didn’t laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.

      • occhionaut@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Did you say “toot toot” first?

        • coaxil@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          I am not that advanced as of yet, I will work towards this though!

    • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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      Dude, if my boss did this, I would never recover. I think I would laugh until I asphyxiated myself.

  • Eczpurt@lemmy.world
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    Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.

    • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      It was, in fact, showtime.

  • Clbull@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      Just almost??

  • halvar@lemm.ee
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    toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT

    and that’s how the universe got created kids

    • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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      And on the fourth toot, God evacuated the heaven and the earth.

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      That’s a shart

      • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Baby shart do do dodo dodo

      • Vespair@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        I mean yes, as far as I can tell most of the universe is, in fact, shit.

  • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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    “he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”

    This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.

  • navordar@lemmy.ml
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    I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean

    • BigPotato@lemmy.world
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      I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.

      Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.

    • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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      Haha, I thought I was the only one!

      I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.

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