idk if zucc has a chance. ive heard elon created a new fighting style he calls “tesla style”. using this style he becomes unpredictably explosive and doesnt know when to stop
His bowels become unpredictably explosive and dont know when to stop
Critical Support for Musk spontaneously combusting and taking Zuck out with him
He runs in into a wall and immediately catches on fire
jesus how do you lose so badly you make zuck seem mildly cool
or more realistically zuck’s human pr team
How does he manage to be 100% right but still sound like a piss baby
terminal nerdistry. the prognosis was terminal but the motherfucker made a billion bucks so he’s cheated the gods out of their rightful swirlys
he will suffer in tartaros though, when his unnaturally preserved life ends
Post was edited by a PR person with a PhD in Linguistics to make Zuck appear as non-offensive and professional as possible
Zukerberg is a copy of a human being made by linkedin users
Damn I was looking forward to mark ripping the heart out of elons chest like Indiana Jones, promptly eating it like an iguana eating a fly.
FATALITY! Zuck unhinges his jaw and swallows Musk whole
everyone been acting like Zucc is Cyrax this whole time when he was Reptile smdh
like an iguana eating a fly.
Speaking of, anyone remember that picture of Bezos eating a whole fucking lizard?
Got it right here
The thing you would definitely do to make yourself look like a normal human being
I thought iguanas were herbivores. They’ll definitely smack the shit out of you with their tails though.
The most “charitable” thing these soulless husks could do is jump into a swimming pool with pockets full of cesium.
is this fucking real what world do we live in what the hell
i mean this isn’t the first time the richest chuds in the world are fighting each other. Pompeii and Caesar and Crassus all fought each other after all.
yeah we are meant to be like a bit more advanced as a society from them
“advancement” and “progress” are shams. we’re the same apes we always have been.
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That is a lib ass take, fam. We don’t do historical materialism by squinting real hard and sorting the shapes into bouba and kiki
I’m making a joke
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I feel like Zuckerberg would hand Musk his ass. Musk would be all showy and fail to be charismatic, and Zuck would open his face and the terrors of warp-space would come out.
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This is how we’re getting the Gellar field isn’t it?
Musk opens the Warp with his Neurolink testing and dooms mankind
even elon’s height and weight advantage wont make up for his piss poor physique
I have years and years of BJJ experience and I can confidently say that if you have a year of BJJ, the moment you grab onto a layman all their technique turns to sand. Not that I care especially about the duo compared to any other celebrities, but if Elon ever loses his balance, Zuck turns into TzKal-Zuk. When the striker isn’t even a striker and is just a guy, it takes proportionately less grappling prowess to close the distance and get the take down. Insofar that you could literally run up to the old man and give him a hug to get the win. If he doesn’t know how to punch, cannot conceive of a knee strike, and doesn’t know what an underhook is, you can go up around his triceps for the hug and it wouldn’t matter because Elon would discover inside the octagon that takedown defense is an attribute you can have.
A lot of UFC fights that are sold as a striker versus a grappler end up with the grappler winning. Khabib vs Gaethje comes to mind, Khabib vs Barbosa, Khabib vs Connor, Khabib vs opponents, Dagastani wrestlers vs opponents in general, Olivera vs opponents, Stipe vs Ngannou 1 (Ngannou won 2 when he learned how to grapple), Texeria vs Błachowicz, and the premise of UFC 1.
He’s a total freak, but I can respect that he takes martial arts seriously. Granted, like 90+% of the people who take martial arts seriously are freaks.
Hey, at least the guy has a hobby, unlike
.at least the guy has a hobby, unlike
.I regret to inform you that Elon has a hobby
CW
breeding kids and fucking other kids
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Trains mma and has in fact won medals in competition. Pretty sure that anyone that actively trains is going to destroy someone that does not, and Musk knows it.
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This is why Musk wants a practice first lol, to make sure Zucc won’t just rip his head off publicly.
Honestly a fight is the perfect opportunity for him to kill him with the excuse it was a fight and that’s always a risk.
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I resent this - just not enough to defend myself.
The true martial arts master knows that the only way to win a fight is to avoid it altogether.spoiler
In all seriousness, martial arts are cool.
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If nothing else we got that video of musk lifting a 5 pounds while the board mock cheers him with musk not realizing he’s being made fun of
I don’t know what is real anymore. Surely this can’t be real?
It sounds perfectly Musk, so I’m gonna assume it is.
This is what I’m talking about
https://www.entrepreneur.com/business-news/elon-musk-goes-live-lifts-weights-in-bizarre-video/456972He’s just so epic
I just feels wrong to be cheering Zuckerberg but musk is just so unlikable right now that Zuckerberg seems somewhat better in comparison even though he really isn’t
I saw a comment the other day that was something like “the best outcome would be Zuck beating Musk to death and then stepping on a banana peel and cracking his skull open” lol.
I couldn’t agree more.
Double death throat punch🤣 if this was reddit I would be receiving a warning for wishing harm on them
It’s crazy because zuck is objectively more harmful but musk is so annoying I’m still rooting for zuckerberg in the fight
Nobody should ever get it in there had that Zuckerberg is a good guy
link?
uh, looks like in the video he’s effortlessly (not actually curling, but seems very capable of) curling a 45.
is that a trivial amount for the salt-of-the-earth, midwestern stalk?
Yes a didn’t give the giga chad the respect he and Olympian god body deserves 👏 🙌
musk is enough of a fucking freak without you weirdly editorializing some video through the lenses of pure resentment, is all.
but keep lifting and drinking your milk champ, i’m sure you’ll get out of that Podunk town in no time.
be nice to our guestsFound the musk mark
🤡
You mean this ridiculous freakshow fight that had no chance of happening has been a ruse for attention all along?!
zuck is sad he cant go on a date with elon
An alternative would’ve been to say “Yes” and just put a ton of cameras and an audience into the backyard as well as a dozen drones or so.
Even a ‘training’ match would have been hilarious.
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I just want Zuck to show up at twitter headquarters (suck it, I don’t care about the name change) kick the door in NWO style and put Elon through a table.
Give him a job as a janitor, like the last emperor of China
Leave MMA to the pros: youtubers.
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This looks like the boxart on the cover of a gay porn movie lmao
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Joking that the poster looks like a bunch of gay dudes is fine, but joking that people that would watch it are gay is too far?
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I suppose I can understand that, but it seems a bit reactionary to me though. Comes across as having very little tolerance for non-hexbears when I see them “brigading” threads all the time. Been having a good time interacting with you all otherwise though, I guess I just don’t quite “get” what you’re all about yet.
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I know none of these dudes
why do you think they are punching each other for attention
I hate them both
They should do this, but have it be actual backyard wrestling. I wanna see Zuck put Elon through a folding table covered in thumbtacks
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