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Stamets@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 3 months ago

Why

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Why

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Stamets@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 3 months ago
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  • LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe
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    3 months ago

    What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.

    • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Thank you, jacket boner.

      • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
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        3 months ago

        Thank you too, Docker pants.

        • nomy@lemmy.zip
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          3 months ago

          They’re terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.

    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you’ve peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          Have you given brother?

          • Bristlecone@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            You gotta give!

    • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      My jacket doesnt extend far down enough to have that plausible deniability 😢

  • blind3rdeye@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn’t just playing with my dick while doing it.

    But now that I’m older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn’t really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren’t looking at me wondering if I’ve got a boner, and they probably don’t care if I do unless I’m also staring at them or something. … So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn’t great, so it isn’t always easy to tell.)

    • Spookyghost@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it’s you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you’ve noticed another person with a ‘jacket zipper boner’.

    • jdf038@mander.xyz
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      3 months ago

      Zipper less hoodies don’t seem to do this ime

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        3 months ago

        IDK why this is downvoted; it’s literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.

        At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can’t really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      If you just play it cool and use that jacket bump, it won’t even occur to anyone that it’s a boner.

  • MithranArkanere@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.

    • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      That’s called a jeanis.

      • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        We’ve already been through this

        • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Is it jeans season again?

          • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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            3 months ago

            It is always jeans season on Lemmy

      • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        I think the joke is that he has an erection.

        • misterdoctor@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Jeanis

          • ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I know your comment didn’t necessarily appear out of nowhere, but it reminds me of that subreddit “skamtebord”

            I miss that one sometimes…

            • misterdoctor@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              There’s a lot of good subreddits I miss. Not enough to go back, but I get it for sure.

        • MithranArkanere@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Nah, there’s no room for that, it would always bend and slip downward to the middle of the thigh or upward to the belly button.

          Jeanis is correct.

        • nandeEbisu@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Erections are no joke. You could poke an eye out with one of those.

    • nandeEbisu@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      It’s because the cloth shrinks in the wash more than the zipper so in order to fit the longer zipper in the smaller cloth it needs to bulge out.

      • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
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        3 months ago

        Worst answer to “Is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

        • nandeEbisu@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I have a roll of coins in my pocket, but I’m happy to see you so I can give you these coins. I also have a massive erection.

      • MithranArkanere@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You are not supposed to wash jeans in a way that would make them shrink.

        You are not supposed to wash them in a washing machine at all in the first place.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYoyojCcgsc

  • Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz
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    3 months ago

    In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!

    • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
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      3 months ago

      When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.

  • samus12345@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.

    • fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de
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      3 months ago

      You wear crop top jackets?

  • lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com
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    3 months ago

    Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not…

    • qarbone@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Make sure to scream things like “yeaaaah, that’s it!” and “more, more!” when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.

  • frigidaphelion@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 1 lmao definitely worth watching if you haven’t seen it

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!

  • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I actually just have a boner.

    • JoeKis@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

  • Cattail@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach

    • TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub
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      3 months ago

      You should get that checked

  • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    Never be ashamed of a good boner.

    • shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      Ah to be young again!

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    3 months ago

    You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it’s flattering. 😌

  • MintyFresh@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    As a tall freak of nature, I’m just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don’t know how good you have it.

    • xpinchx@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Same. I have some aged Old Navy hoodies in tall sizes that go to about the bottom of my jeans zipper.

      I asked for a couple new ones (same size and SKU!) for Christmas and the bottom sits at the bottom of my belt so if I move or stretch it’s a belly shirt…

      Eddie Bauer has been the same lately, the tall sizes are like maybe 1-2" longer but I’m not only extremely tall, but my torso is proportionally pretty long.

      If I could be 5’10" that’d be great. I think most people take it for granted that the whole world is made for average height.

  • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    No way that thing has gotten me into more places than it’s gotten me kicked out

    • asbestos@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Yeah got me in jail

      • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        Jail for boner??

        • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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            3 months ago

            is this a madlib??

            • moody@lemmings.world
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              3 months ago

              Nope

              • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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                3 months ago

                I think I’m gonna frame this.

            • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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              3 months ago

              No but “boner” has also meant an error so depending on the time it was published it might not mean an erection

              • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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                3 months ago

                Yeah - there are a shit ton of Joker’s epic boners.

                Also a lot of funny stuff with Superman and Jimmy Olsen. The Bronze Age is… something.

          • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Batman rubs out another one of the Jokers boners. Unfortunately his boner was a trick and it turns into a sticky situation for our caped crusader. Tune in next week kids!

        • KaRunChiy@fedia.io
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          3 months ago

          In jail for boner, yeah

        • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

  • sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 months ago

    Tummy boner tummy boner

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