I feel like this type of reply to the male loneliness epidemic (or y’know just the loneliness epidemic, since loneliness has been on the rise independent of gender) really does not give a shit about the people that experience loneliness by reducing them to the most horrible and loud of subset of them.

Sure, there are incels that will twist and turn every societal tragedy into why they are victims and deserve to keep hating women. But by listening to them and reducing the entire problem to hahaha, the women haters are getting what they deserve, you are just hurting everyone else.

Haha! Hey, look! Men expressing feelings in comments and getting attacked by alphas and women for doing so! Next post on askmen - “Why are men so closed in and do not share their feelings?”

Maybe some are making it about getting laid, but overwhelmingly most men struggling with it have completely different reasons for why it is happening, in many cases outside of their power.

is it ok if i don’t judge my sense of manhood by the “getting laid” part ?

i’m not into judging womanhood by using male anything, and i don’t see why the other way makes any more sense.

I’m with the second guy. I’m not going to doom scroll through useless dating apps and talking to every woman on the street. I’d rather do my own hobbies and do my own things so worst case scenario, I’m happy with what I’m doing, best case scenario I get a SO, or reasonable scenario is I make some friends.

Semi related but it’s actually so irritating how I have to go through life where my value as a human being is decided by how much money I make, how many girls I get, how successful I am when I could not care less about any of that, but I will get judged severely for it if anyone “finds out” that I’m not successful in… things I don’t care about…

Like why is that my value to people? I don’t want to have kids with you, you don’t have to live my life, if it’s fun and rewarding being around me why is that not enough? It seeps in even to progressive speech where people will say “clearly he gets no women” like that decides their value as a person. Very cringe. Also don’t forget to downvote for minimizing male loneliness as men can’t get women for the 9999th time.

How does it spread if they are isolated?

That isn’t what people mean by it. Loneliness means loneliness.

Imagine what would happen if somebody said this about women. Are you lonely, ladies? Have you tried being enjoyable and relaxing? And you should smile more!

I don’t think it’s just about sex. I’m not even sure incels think that. I think it’s more about relationships and someone to share your life with. I know some people seem fine with just friends and casual sex, but I think a lot of people have a need, or strong “want,” for a close, deep, intimate relationship. I know I do at least. Even if it was just about sex, sex is pretty much a human need.

Personally, I have severe life-long social anxiety (and depression), so it’s always been very hard for me to make friends or meet potential partners. I have worked on my anxiety issue (medication, attempts at self help, though I could never afford therapy), and I am better than before (I used to sometimes get panic attacks just being around large groups of people), but it’s still severe enough to hinder me in life in general (and noticeable to people around me).

I have a wife and I don’t feel lonely.

But I noticed my third place “go to” places are very lonely and they were a place I use to be to socialise randomly.

Backthen: Going to the gym was an adventure, blast some weights and grab a cappucino with someone on the way out and talk about the routine, how they are progressing etc… PEOPLE TALKED.

Now? Everyone on the phones during sets, if they aren’t doing that they run around with headphones and walk and use the phone,…

It’s everywhere. I am not different now.

But trust me guys and ladies, it’s not having no partner. It’s the phones, it’s the phones. If they’d shutdown the internet people won’t be dating anymore and the human race would just end cause people can’t communicate in person anymore.

Well this is just… Wrong. The “loneliness epidemic” doesn’t just have to do with getting laid. What an absurd take.

Having sex is just a part of it, because lo and behold sex is a healthy and normal part of the human biological process.

However, ask a man what it’s like trying to make friends. Or if they made any new friends as of late… Or in the past 5 years. Yes, just friends, not sexual partners.

You’ll find a lot of guys past the school phase and into the work/career phase haven’t made any new friends. If you’re a man with a career then congrats! You probably have money. But no real time to make new friends, get back in touch with old friends, or find someone to date. If you’re a man with work, but not a career, you’re probably broke most of the time. Too broke to go or do anything.

Even men in relationships, having families, can suffer from loneliness. Yeah, you got a wife, abd maybe a kid… but you still need friends!

An issue with this loneliness problem is that it’s not taken seriously, and dismissing it as “Oh it’s just a sex thing. Git gud.” is exactly that. Not difficult to see how something like the so-called “manosphere” can swoop in; religions, cults, and similar find the lost, stuck, and disenfranchised easy prey.

No, it’s actually the first but being shoved aside and ignored as the second.

I…simply don’t know what to make of this. I’m a guy who finds himself thinking about the male loneliness epidemic a lot, and never in terms of finding a romantic/sexual partner. It’s always about solid platonic bonds outside of that and kin, and factors that make those harder to find and maintain these days.

Is this just a shitpost and I’m too stupid to get the joke?

I love posts that explicitly state that my loneliness is entirely my fault, and not an unprecedented societal issue affecting more people than ever before

try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

Been doing that for 30 years. Is there another step?

Tips to get laid. Yeah, that seems right.

Genuinely, who keeps posting shit like this on here? I keep seeing posts such as this one and it’s honestly pushing me away from Lemmy. Why spend time on a platform that hates me? If being a man who didn’t date (because of social anxiety, btw, not that you’d care, since clearly men are by default fascists, according to some comments here) is a sin, let us know on the front page, so that me and others like myself can avoid this place.

A lot of comments are, thankfully, calling this shitty behaviour out. But then I look at the post itself, which has 696 upvotes and 166 downvotes, and I’m like… I’m not wanted here.