I get a mix of deeply bad and highly good feelings from it.
Another problem is it also makes me manic and want to be a superhero, but I have lower than average normal-person powers without any spoons to spare. I need help understanding that nothing bad is happening to me if I read or watch theory, and that I can indeed respond to what I read by simply sitting in a more educated space of mind without physically doing anything. (Again, no spoons, can’t volunteer or anything it’s frustrating.)
Idk. I’m also a minority in America and I make it blatantly obvious to everyone around me, online and In daily life, who engages me in any sort of political discussion whatsoever. No one cares. The few hogs who do care genuinely don’t know what to do when confronted by someone who is well read in Marxist theory and defends their opinions with vigor, other than with violence in but that’s just life lol. I am also insane and don’t fear harm nearly as much as I should so don’t listen to me, but also listen to me nobody is gunna do shit. If they were gunna do shit they were gunna do it anyways this place is full of violent hogs. And if you’re worried about the feds or something, they don’t care unless ur in an org and if you are then ask them for help with that, if you are just some fella with a book about communism the federal agent in your phone couldn’t give less of a shit, you don’t matter. I FUXKKNG LOVE RAMBLING!!