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This is the kinda shit people are talking about when they say “Trans right are human rights”.
Trans people are our friends, our neighbors, our brothers and sisters. They have their own hopes, dreams, and fears, and at a bare minimum, deserve to be treated with kindness, dignity, and respect. The same way every human deserves.
Each person is an individual and should be seen and valued as such.
u/Bennyboybumberchums says
And yet, you and every other social media user in the world, still chooses to use them to get worthless internet points. You may think your message is positive…
u/Bennyboybumberchums is a troll attempting to drive a wedge between the trans community and their potential future allies. It certainly as fuck won’t change anything for current allies.
OP I’m sure you know that but I say so in this chain in anticipation of the troll being led out.
And yet, you and every other social media user in the world, still chooses to use them to get worthless internet points. You may think your message is positive, but its still toxic as fuck to use this small amount of human beings for your own gain. You all need to take a big step back from the “Im one of the good ones!” bullshit.
Leave trans people alone. Just leave them alone to live their lives without being props to use in the endless culture wars.
TROLL DETECTED
Wall of Fire deployed! Do not interact!
When I changed my middle name to Ashley, and started using that sometimes in some situations (like how explaining how to say my first name would take too much time), I got such a good feeling, and it still persists a decade later.
Well, Ashley, if you go to the top of the page, tap your username and choose settings, the very first thing is display name, which you can change without changing your login name. That’s what I did when I felt like a change.
Oh! My name is already set though, my first name is Tanis and that’s the one I like the most. I just don’t use it with people in the real world unless I’m going to encounter them more than once.
Ah superb. All the best.
This one believes it has seen you speak of this in the wild previously and was curious then, and now, as this one as at least passed you more than once, may it ask if there is a reference for entities that are online?
I’m sorry, I don’t think my English is that good. Can you explain it more simply for me?
English is my native language and I still have no idea what the fuck that person is saying. I know 2 other languages and the post as written doesn’t make sense in them either. I think they start off by saying they’ve seen you talk about this elsewhere on Lemmy. After that, the closest guess for the last part I can come up with is they might be asking for your name, but I feel like that’s probably not right.
Well, I’m Tanis Nikana, it’s right there in my username. It’s also just my name. Never really imagined up a username for myself.
Maybe they’ve seen me in real life? I have no idea, they’re not too clear with that. There’s a lot of people I see in real life. I perform on a stage once or twice a week, and I’m trying to get my art out into the world more.
No, just noticed you around. Mentioning the pronunciation of your name in comments caught its attention, because up until it saw you saying something, this one thought it knew how to say “Tanis”, but perhaps it is mistaken.
When my partner “came out” to me, they didn’t really do much of anything to follow through and begin making changes. I think because there’s so much to do and no guide to do it.
So one day we were at a loose end I said “let’s just goto the hair dresser and you can ask them for an appropriate haircut”
And so our very lovely hairdresser became the 2nd person to learn their real name and did a fantastic job sorting out an appropriate hairstyle. Something that is still important to my partner now.
From being the first person they told about their transition IRL, to all the little times I’ve nudged and supported them taking the next step, it’s been a joy and privilege to do that. I feel blessed by their trust and by being close to such beautiful change towards authenticity.
I can absolutely recommend doing stuff like this. Being trans is fucking hard. It means that you have to change a whole fuck load of stuff about yourself and every single step is hard and quite frightening. Having people who support you massively helps. And if its just people you can go out with while wearing your preferred clothes, because going out while being dressed fem, while still looking like a guy is fucking frightening. Having someone to distract you with helps massively.
It’s incredible how valuable having self identity is. Just being who you are, who you are comfortable being, and being accepted for being that person, regardless of who you are or what you present as.
I always struggle with people who don’t recognise people by their chosen names, or by their chosen genders. Just because someone with the genetic features of a male wants to be called “she/her”, doesn’t invalidate who you are as a male (he/him) or female (she/her) or whatever you want to call yourself. What purpose does it serve to deny people the same rights and freedoms that everyone else has, simply because they’ve made different choices than you?
That kind of bigotry should be stamped out as forcefully and as swiftly as the Nazis were. This is just a watered down version of the same bigotry and it should not be tolerated.
Stories like this should be commonplace.
Let’s all just… Get along.
And that’s coming from me. A cis male, and supporter of all things LGBTQIA+
All the colors of the rainbow are beautiful. Be who you want to be. Much love for you all from Canada.
Agreed 100%. Even my conservative parents make an effort with their non-binary niece/nephew (we really need a gender neutral term for that.
If we can get this part right as a society, we’ll get the rest right with time. It’s not hard to be civil.
niece/nephew (we really need a gender neutral term
Nibling!!
Nice!
Also looks like “pibling” is a thing too?
This will never be me. And I wake up every day wanting to end it. Because I am incapable of the social labor necessary for a friendship.
Edit: Okay so in insight, this is very depressing even for me. This post as a big impact on me.
Get yourself a friend with as little capability for social labour as you have, and then have a really mild friendship with them
This is a shot in the dark but check if there are kava bars where you live. Easiest places I’ve found to make friends but I’m in Florida where they’re common so your mileage may vary
I appreciate the suggestion. I have been trying to drag myself to a book-cofee place. Just, it’s taking a lot out of me
I’ll spare the details but I just had a weekend with a magical group of trans allies. If we could teleport, you’d have 16 people appear in your bedroom to crowdsurf you through getting showered and dressed and on your way to a happier place.
I’ve hit up one of my new friends to see what info I can relay to someone in your situation. I’ll follow up when I hear back.
They got back to me. Paraphrasing below:
They’re experienced with guiding people through transitions/HRT so I defer to their expertise.
They tell me that it’s unfortunately common for there to be “doomers” online who gain a small sense of relief via feeling like they can control their situation by describing it as futile. They say “those people need to help themselves first; there’s no way our resources would help until a foundation of commitment to self betterment is present.”
They said one could be guided to resources online without that self help commitment, but their tone sounded like they thought a random internet commentor is unlikely to get much value out of said resources.
I’d guess reflecting on your situation (independent of the comments we see here) might help you estimate your own readiness to pursue help.
A first or preliminary step may be to begin talk therapy with a professional. That may be a good way to get pointed to the right resources for any next steps.
It didn’t occur to me earlier, but your location would affect what specific options are available to you. My contact works in the Ohio River Valley area of the US but I didn’t consider that you might be outside of the US or in some place where resources just don’t exist.
Idk if any of this helps. I probably committed some SJW trope and ignorantly thought the answers were gonna be more black and white.
Regardless of whether you find the kind of happiness OP did, you deserve that happiness just as much as anyone.
This sort of thing can give so much confidence to a trans person who needs it. I needed it for a long time. I still need it. I haven’t socially transitioned yet, but I’ve taken a lot of steps to do so. I have a mental checklist of people who are going to accept me and who are not, because I’m scared of losing all my relationships. Every single relationship that I can be confident in drops my stress level. Every step that somebody can bring me into is one less step that I have to face alone. Gender transition is one of the most difficult things that people do socially. It’s not necessarily for the faint of heart, but oftentimes that’s exactly who has to do it. I struggle with being who I want to be and being confident in that basically everyday.
Yes but then who will I bully and abuse!?
Fascists
If there’s anybody worth ridiculing and making fun of, it’s definitely the fascists
But… But…
