Btw, this is really helping to reduce my PTSD symptoms. bear For example I’m seeing rules abusive people in my past have tried to set for me to follow. (Never confront them or theyll victimize you far worse, never resist their orders, always stay quiet about what theyre doing to you, etc…) Instead of getting hung up on those rules and my opinions on them, just see the the purpose of the rules. (The purpose of the rules in this case is for them to tightly control and victimize someone that will never leave or expose them. That is the whole story and you don’t need to storytell any further if you catch yourself flashing back.) If the purpose of their rules and your values don’t line up, drop them immediately.

Plenty of rules out there dont line up with our values, and not just abuse-related things. I’m new to examining things this way, and trying to widen my scope. What purpose do you feel you have as you do/look at things?

  • built_on_hope [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    9·
    9 days ago

    I studied law and became a lawyer for a bit and let me tell you. Nothing disillusions you from rules-based morality faster than that lol

    I think it helps to realise that all rules are fallible. They were all made up by humans, who are muddling along, who have vested interests, who make mistakes. No human is inherently born above or better than any other human. You have the same status in the universe as the rule-maker.

    It can be tiring to always question everything, but after a while it gets easier to spot the patterns. ‘What does this rule actually achieve in material terms, regardless of its stated intentions?’ is a good place to start.

    • HexaSnoot [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      4·
      9 days ago

      I thought about it… Rules make up a game. When you dismiss very unserious rules, you dismiss the very unserious people that set them. Inheritly you dismiss the game they’re asking you to play.

      In terms of PTSD flashbacks, you can shut down multiple responses to triggers at once because the mind is literally refusing game-mode. At least partially, but when you have PTSD relief can mean a big difference. Spotting the patterns between different people who mistreat me feels like less of a submergence in pain this way.

      • built_on_hope [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        7 days ago

        That makes sense. I use this weird visualisation technique for PTSD, where I imagine the scene as a movie set and everything in it is a cardboard cutout, and I just walk off the set and see that it’s all fake

        • HexaSnoot [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
          2·
          7 days ago

          That stops my last best visualization, which was reminding myself it’s all a puppetshow. Your visual is completely static, still, and lifeless, and I think I like it better.